Q: I would like to know how do you maintain a strong relationship with leaders and the women of your church? And how do you encourage an environment of sisterhood? (@JulieTrevino)
Lori: With the size of our staff, it is difficult to maintain strong, close relationships with all of our leaders. So, my goal is to make sure, as much as I’m able, to let them know how much we love and appreciate them. I hope they know that! Sometimes that is through hugs, emails, and cards. Other times that is lunch or coffee. It is also part of why we get together as Pastor/Director staff wives quarterly.
Since there are about 55 staff wives at the Pastor/Director level, I realize that even if I did a lunch every week, I couldn’t get with everyone once a year. So … creating the “environment” that you mentioned is key. I’m very blessed to have other amazing wives on our executive team who also reach out to the women in their areas.
Brandi: What a great question, Julie! I’m blessed to have great relationships with Cross Point’s leadership, staff and staff wives. For me, I’m best at connecting with the small things. Trying to keep up with the details of their lives. Remembering someone’s birthday, asking about their sick aunt, wishing them safe and relaxing travel … being purposeful to let them know that they’re important to me. I’m a very relational individual and my investment in people tends to be very relationally focused.
Jessica: I meet with all the girls that work at Bay Area Fellowship, or are married to a man who works at BAF once a quarter. I order in lunch (or breakfast), and talk to them about ministry/ leadership/ family. This is a time for the girls to get to visit with each other, meet any new staff/ staff wives, and pray for each other. Offering childcare helps out the moms with little ones.
For the girls that are pastors’ wives (over the past 12 years) we host baby showers together, take meals to each other when needed, help unpack/ pack during a move, and watch each others kids. Also, we all go out for dinner if it’s one of our birthdays. The birthday girl gets to hear the rest of us go around the table, and give her affirmations. I would love to be able to do this with all staff wives, but I don’t have the time. So, I encourage each pastors’ wife to take her husband’s team under her wing, and love on them. 🙂 We also have had a few PW trips and staff retreats.
For the women of our church, I help with different events that we have going on. I am more of a strong presence, because it’s too hard to have a strong relationship with that many women. (In the early years I was much more hands on.) Your women’s minister is also a key factor in reflecting your heart for your women.
Tiffany: We are big into hiring people that fit into our staff chemistry. We truly love and care for our staff, and I know they feel that.
I try to be deliberate in showing appreciation both verbally and through thoughtful acts. We also have staff events throughout the year designed to build unity.
We are taking our staff wives to another level this year which really excites me.
Lisa: As our church has grown, I have realized that you cannot personally lead everyone, but I try to pour into a handful of women (leaders) who then in turn pour into others … a trickle down affect so to speak.
How do you maintain strong relationships with the women in your church?