Tag Archives: community

Truth vs. Grace

We put a lot of focus on community at Cross Point.  We encourage people to pursue and nurture connectedness… to build into others and allow those people to build into you.  But we all know relationships aren’t easy and some aren’t natural.  However relationships are worth the investment, studies show the one thing that distinguishes consistently happy people from unhappy people are rich, deep, life-giving relationships.

Healthy relationships require a balance of truth and grace. You won’t live in transformational community until you make truth a part of your conversations and language. Authentic relationships require us to extend and expect grace.

When I look at the majority of my friendships I realize I lean heavily toward grace and avoid truth.  Truth can cause conflict and I like to keep everyone happy!

But when I evaluate how I parent I tend to sway toward truth without extending enough grace!

And unfortunately, even recently I treated a Toys R Us cashier with a huge dose of truth when all she deserved was some grace

I’m working on my balance.  Praying that as God grows me he grows my ability to maintain a healthier balance between truth and grace.  To have the ability to say the hard things with love and a healthy motive.  To realize that my kids are kids… and sometimes I expect them to function more like adults.

How’s your truth and grace balance in relationships?  How’s your truth and grace balance as you lead?  Do you lean more toward truth or hover closer to grace?

Grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.  John 1:17b

How'd I Get Here??


Today I officially join Leading and Loving It as a contributor… and I couldn’t be more excited.  Let me fill you in a little about my journey, I’ve spend most of the last 12 years or so “wandering” in the role of pastor’s wife.  To take it to another level, in a lot of ways I’ve been lost.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the last 12 years of ministry… but I’ve spent quite a bit of time wondering where and how I fit.

I’ve been married to a pastor for about 13 years and I’ve loved almost every minute, but to be honest I’ve probably wasted a lot of time.  Up until last year I believed that my husband was the only one doing the important work because I never felt “called” to ministry.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Pete and have a huge heart for the local church, I volunteer regularly and I’m very connected in our church… I fully supported his call to ministry, but I still felt it was his call and not mine.

Last year I had a revelation… it sounds like a simple thought, but sometimes I can be a little slow.  I remember driving down the road feeling quite discontent and praying for guidance.  I clearly felt God press on me “Brandi, I didn’t call you into ministry… but you’ve been a pastor’s wife for 12 years and I’m not gonna waste that experience, it’s time you step up.”

Around that same time my cyber friendship with Lori started to become more real.  I’d called her asking for advice on a situation and we discovered we viewed ministry with a very similar frame of mind.  Late last summer Pete and I even got the opportunity to sneak out to Vegas to meet she and Jud face to face.

Lori and I spent an evening sitting in a sleek booth at a trendy high-rise dreaming about connecting and networking other pastors’ wives.  Finding other ladies who have been in seasons where they’re lost and helping them walk through to the other side.  Encouraging and supporting other women in ministry and using technology as our  means of communication.  In short… we wanted to create a community.

So today I join Leading and Loving It to help create that community but I have to be honest, sometimes I’m still a little lost and sometimes I wonder how I fit in… but I believe that getting to know those of you who visit here is one stepping stone on my journey to purpose.

Anyone else every feel a little lost or wonder where you fit in?