How'd I Get Here??


Today I officially join Leading and Loving It as a contributor… and I couldn’t be more excited.  Let me fill you in a little about my journey, I’ve spend most of the last 12 years or so “wandering” in the role of pastor’s wife.  To take it to another level, in a lot of ways I’ve been lost.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the last 12 years of ministry… but I’ve spent quite a bit of time wondering where and how I fit.

I’ve been married to a pastor for about 13 years and I’ve loved almost every minute, but to be honest I’ve probably wasted a lot of time.  Up until last year I believed that my husband was the only one doing the important work because I never felt “called” to ministry.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Pete and have a huge heart for the local church, I volunteer regularly and I’m very connected in our church… I fully supported his call to ministry, but I still felt it was his call and not mine.

Last year I had a revelation… it sounds like a simple thought, but sometimes I can be a little slow.  I remember driving down the road feeling quite discontent and praying for guidance.  I clearly felt God press on me “Brandi, I didn’t call you into ministry… but you’ve been a pastor’s wife for 12 years and I’m not gonna waste that experience, it’s time you step up.”

Around that same time my cyber friendship with Lori started to become more real.  I’d called her asking for advice on a situation and we discovered we viewed ministry with a very similar frame of mind.  Late last summer Pete and I even got the opportunity to sneak out to Vegas to meet she and Jud face to face.

Lori and I spent an evening sitting in a sleek booth at a trendy high-rise dreaming about connecting and networking other pastors’ wives.  Finding other ladies who have been in seasons where they’re lost and helping them walk through to the other side.  Encouraging and supporting other women in ministry and using technology as our  means of communication.  In short… we wanted to create a community.

So today I join Leading and Loving It to help create that community but I have to be honest, sometimes I’m still a little lost and sometimes I wonder how I fit in… but I believe that getting to know those of you who visit here is one stepping stone on my journey to purpose.

Anyone else every feel a little lost or wonder where you fit in?

31 thoughts on “How'd I Get Here??

  1. Pingback: brandi & boys

  2. Tiffany

    Ummmm YES! I am constantly wondering where I fit into this picture of ministry. My husband is living his dream career and I am fully supportive. I even dig in and get really involved as much as I can while having 2 young children. I often feel “lost” and as a pw….you can’t just tell random people in the congregation how you feel. KWIM?

    I want to be apart of a community of women who are in the same boat? Who love their husbands, love what God is doing in and throughout the church, and who are involved and supportive of their husbands’ call…but are also readily wanting to do important work too. To not just be a pastor’s wife, but (as a good friend calls it) a passionate world changer.

    Thanks Brandi! So glad you will be contributing!

  3. *~Michelle~*

    So excited for you Brandi……I am sure God is working some amazing things in your life so that you can in turn teach and inspire others!



  4. Alyson

    Yup. Currently there. Lost and lonely is where I am. But I am grateful to have found this site, and am taking part in the roundtable in December. Hopefully, I’ll be finding my way out of this lost and lonely world I have found myself in recently.

  5. marla

    I am not a pw but I am a pw best friend. I can tell you that she has ministered even when she didn’t know she was. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have told her I could NEVER be a pastor’s wife. God chooses carefully for such a role–I know this! You know who you are and I hope you know just how proud I am that you are embarking on this journey. I love to see you happy!

  6. brandiandboys

    thanks for your honesty ladies! i think you’ve found a place that can help you on your journey.

    @marla you’re the best! thanks for always supporting, believing in me and making me laugh when i really feel like crying! 🙂

  7. LeAnn

    Thank you for your heart for other minister’s wives. My mom comes to mind…having been a pastor’s wife for over 30 years…she sure has had her ups and downs. I bet your ministry would be a great way for her to feel connected. Many times she’s told me “I just don’t have anyone I can talk to.” She has needed encouragement and friendship and sometimes hasn’t known where to look. Now of course over that many years, she has had some wonderful friendships, but the friendship of another pastor’s wife is a true treasure.

    Wayne and I are feeling called to be church planters…which will make me not only the worship minister, but a Pastor’s wife. SCARY! haha

    Thanks for being a loving and supportive pastor’s wife!

    <3 LeAnn

  8. pameeb

    YEP! I have been there a few times =) GOD has always been so patient with me too… I have been a Pastor’s wife for 31 years now and I LOVE it and wouldn’t change a thing… except maybe being more patient with my kids when they were little =) I am now with my grand kids!!

    I have a heart for Pastor’s wives too… that is why I LOVE this place… I can relate to MOST of it! Even tho I am OLD =) HAHA!!

    I don’t get on here as much as I want to… or contribute as much as I should… but I LOVE YOU!! and LOVE what you are doing!!

    I LOVE the idea of a community too… I am IN! I will try harder to be here!! THANKS for doing this!!!

  9. [email protected]

    COMPLETELY wonder and even obsess about this from time to time…..
    Thanks for sharing!!!
    I am enjoying getting to ‘know’ you both since I’ve found this this site!
    Can’t wait to hear more!

  10. mardia

    Thanks for sharing…i like the honesty and I know I been here more that once. Im glad we can talk about it with people that have the same heart.

  11. tam

    girl, you know i feel all those same things as you. what a strange role we get to play. but i do love it!

    you have so much to offer! tons of wisdom and experience. cant wait to learn from you, brandi.

  12. Kara-Kae

    I’m so excited about what you ladies are doing!! As a young pastor’s wife, I am constantly looking for those who have been doing this thing longer than me for advice and encouragement. There’s something about being a pastor’s wife that only another pastor’s wife can truly understand! Thank goodness God needed lots of pastors and had them all get married 🙂

    Can’t wait to hear from your hearts and learn and grow through your leadership!

  13. Tiffany Cooper

    Brandi, I am confident that God used you as a PW even when you didn’t “feel called”. Your life was on display for all to see and I’m sure that you taught many women a great deal about what it means to be a Godly woman just by being you. I am thrilled about this new season of purpose in your life. You have already been a great encouragement to me…but I’ve already told you that:-) So happy you are a part of LEADING AND LOVING IT!

  14. DisneyCyndi

    This could not have come at a better time for me (Lori knows). I look forward to getting to know you and the other ladies. At this moment I feel a bit less alone.

  15. donna

    I spent the majority of my early pw years desiring everyone to understand I’m just a regular person no different from anyone else. I was so bothered by how curious people were about me simply because I’m married to a pastor. So, I wandered around and didn’t embrace the opportunity of influence being a pastor’s wife presented me. I’m still just a regular person, but now I try to make the most of the opportunities God has given me as I stand beside an amazing man. Who wouldn’t be curious about the woman who married such a stud?

    Look forward to hearing from you Brandi!

  16. Tina Dee

    Lord bless you, Brandi, as you step up to minister to women who so need the community God is building through you. This is wonderful!

    We’ll keep you in prayer, and thank you for introducing me to this new place. You have and will be a blessing to so many ladies, including me.


  17. Rachel Boldman

    OH MY GOODNESS, yes! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I have been a pastor’s wife for almost 4 years, and mom to a pastor’s kid for about 18 months 😉 My husband just took a job as senior pastor about 1000 miles away from both of our entire families. Lost? Yes. I so need a network; a community, and I am so excited to have found this site.

    Rachel B.

  18. brandiandboys

    @donna you summed it up beautifully… “I didn’t embrace the opportunity of influence being a pastor’s wife presented me.” that’s exactly how i’ve felt!

  19. brandiandboys

    so glad you all stopped by today! thanks for your authenticity and desire to connect. make sure you check out the virtual roundtable tab at the top of this page.

  20. amy kerkhoff

    Wow, wow, wow! I totally resonate with this – and similarly, in the last year have been feeling God saying it’s time to look at my life and sense of calling in a new way. No more wasting time, or being mired in resisting what He wants to do in/through me, in addition to my husband.

    Donna, I really hear you when you said you were ‘desiring everyone to understand I’m just a regular person no different from anyone else.’ I am certainly now longing to make the most of every opportunity.

    I’m so thankful for this website to hear from and learn from other pw’s.

  21. Robin

    I was only a pastor’s wife in the traditional sense for a few years when my husband was a campus pastor. All the other time we’ve been in ministry, he’s been over a technology team. (Although technically he is ordained. Weird.)

    Looking forward to checking out this site and seeing where I might fit in~

  22. Jenni Catron

    Brandi, as someone who has served beside your family very closely for the last several years, I know that God has used you in amazing ways even though you’ve felt like a wanderer. You’re amazing and I’m so proud that you’re using your voice to encourage other women, especially pastor’s wives!

  23. Steph

    Totally have been there the last year. My husband and I were in the youth ministry for 15 years. I felt totally called to youth and being a youth minister’s wife. I was good at it…loved it and thought this was my whole purpose in life! But one day…I found myself married to an associate minister…working with adults…out of my total comfort zone. I hated it to be honest…I was angry and lost for about a year. I was in a deep pit of depression, but hiding it all inside. He had shaken my whole world up and I was mad. Finally I started to dig myself out of that lonely little pit I had dug for myself and ask God to show me where he wanted me…and help me to get there. It was a freeing moment in my life. One of my friends started blogging and got me hooked. I started to seek out other pastor’s wives and found so much encouragement and love from them.
    I am so thankful for Lori’s blog and all of the Pw’s who share real life on here.

  24. tracy

    I can completely relate to Steph….I have been a youth pastor’s wife for 20 years and now find myself the lead pastor’s wife. What you see is what you get and I often forget that that is my new role. I sometimes have a quick panic moment and think what in the world does a pastor’s wife do differently than a youth pastor’s wife…??
    So thankful you are doing this and look forward to connecting on here!

  25. Monica

    I’m not a pw but I am lonely.I know God has a purpose for me but for the life of me I don’t know when,where or what.
    I did medical missions(gyn surgeries)and loved it,before I had my sweet kids.I love to encourage and spend God’s word to people.
    But at the same time I know my most important call for now is to my husband and the kids,which by the way, can get alittle weary.I will not faint.
    Thank you guys for the new life-line on staying connected to women who feel the same.

    We are a Blessed Generation,

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