Getting Out Of The Rut …

Posted by Brandi Wilson

Recently we received this comment…

I was looking through the blog posts and was trying to find some on encouragement on Mothers Day!
I’m a wife of a pastor & have 2 little ones. Here I am on Mothers Day Eve just feeling bummed! Hubby is studying for tomorrow’s message & doesn’t have Mother’s Day even on his radar! And I know that tomorrow morning won’t be anything out of the ordinary! He will leave early for church and all mom duties will be left on my back & I just am feeling sad about that! I wish I could just be ok with that & focus on other positives about His job, but for some reason I’m just bummed! & for sure don’t want to be a big sad brat tomorrow. Ugh. Just wondering how other pastors wives don’t get sucked into this ‘poor me’ rut I feel I’m I tonight!!!

We’ve all been there… maybe not with Mother’s Day, but with another holiday, birthday or anniversary. At some time we’ve all been sucked into that “poor me” rut she references. Celebrating anything on Sundays is hard for any ministry family.

I think sometimes in ministry we have to “rethink” how we celebrate. For instance we are going to begin celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day on Saturday. It is so much easier to make someone feel “spoiled” when you’re not working around their busiest work day of the week. Heck, a lot of my friends were speaking at their churches on Mother’s Day and it’s hard to feel celebrated when you’re carrying that load.

In ministry trying to celebrate a special family day on a Sunday is almost setting us up for failure, as distraction is imminent. I’m a big believer in a celebration doesn’t have to occur on a certain “day” but rather, just celebrate, just acknowledge.

What are some ways you guys have chosen to celebrate certain holidays, anniversaries or birthdays differently when they occur on a Sunday?

7 thoughts on “Getting Out Of The Rut …

  1. Pam Fadness

    I SO GET IT!
    This was a BIT of a struggle for me, especially early on in ministry.
    We have been in full time ministry for 24 years now and 19 of those years have been in the Sr/Lead Pastor position where my husband is the primary bible teacher on Sundays. So Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, and any other holiday (or day that “I” consider significant!)that happens to fall on a Sunday becomes secondary to my desire to “celebrate.” But, years ago, a very wise Sr. pastor helped me see things differently by sharing a great biblical perspective through the story of David and his men in 1 Samuel 30. I’ll make it as short as I can –
    While David and his men are fighting and away from their families in Ziklag, the Amalekites came and took their families, their worldly goods and burned the camp. David seeks direction from the Lord and God tells him to go and pursue the enemy who had taken their belongings and family members but as they prepare to leave he discovers that 200 out of the 600 are just too worn out to pursue the enemy. David tells them to stay there and KEEP WATCH over their “stuff”.
    God gave them victory and they retrieved all that belongs to them plus a huge amount of spoil to take with them. But when they returned to the camp the other men with David felt that those who stayed behind should only get their personal belongings and not part of “David’s Spoil” that was taken in the victory. David says “You shall not do so, my brothers, with what the LORD has given us. He has preserved us and given into our hand the band that came against us…For as his share is who goes down to battle, so shall his share be who stays by the baggage. They shall share alike.” And he made it a statute and a rule for Israel from that day forward to this day.

    What this spoke to me was that even though I am not the one speaking in the pulpit, fighting in “the battle” for people’s hearts and minds on Sunday mornings. Even though I may be left doing the somewhat mundane… finding matching socks, picking up donuts for the fundraiser after service, and doing my best to just get there on time… I am the KEEPER of our baggage. And THAT is important. Important enough that God says I get the same reward as my husband does. I don’t know about you, but THAT encourages me! What I have tried (and I continue to try) to remember that I am called to lose my life so that I may find it. That doesn’t mean that our family comes last on the list of priorities though! On the contrary! It has been a unique opportunity to help teach my children to be selfless and others centered. They have seen, first hand, that you cannot out give God and that there truly is blessing in “spending and being spent” for the Lord and his people.

    All five of our children have had to work through issues here and there… all kids do! But I am blessed to say that the three that are grown and on their own are compassionate, giving and caring young adults. My two teens left at home are still learning some great lessons on serving, but I am thoroughly encouraged by the progress that I see. And this Mother’s day, after I helped lead worship, clean up the mission team doughnut mess after service and rinse out coffee pots, I enjoyed a wonderful lunch with my hubby and boys and was granted a looong, luscious nap afterward. It was a great way to celebrate Mother’s day. I love the Idea of celebrating on a different day, but Saturday certainly isn’t the day for us..that’s a study day for my hubby! The important thing for us seems to be that we do “something” special.
    I have embraced my role as “keeper of the baggage”… I pray that I will always be able to maintain that focus of heart and mind, because when I do…it’s ALL good. I hope this is an encouragement to someone out there.
    May you be blessed to overflowing – Pam

  2. Stephanie Shouse

    My birthday AND our anniversary always seem to be during the same week as our church’s VBS. My husband and I are both heavily involved in this ministry so it’s pretty much impossible to celebrate either occasion in “normal” ways. The last several years we’ve changed it up by going out to breakfast instead of dinner on our anniversary (since VBS is in the evening) and even occasionally going out of town the week after VBS. I like the perspective of the celebration being the important part instead of the normal day. Besides…we rarely do anything “normal” anyway. 🙂

  3. Kim Getty

    My hubby and I got married on December 22. We didn’t think that one through *at*all* lol! So we have always celebrated our anniversary in January. This year we are trying something new and booking one of his vacation Sundays the Sunday after Christmas so that we have the opportunity to have some time away from ministry to have both some anniversary celebration and some uninterrupted Christmas family time.

  4. Shelley Neal

    I am in a different position…I am the one in the Ministerial Role….but as a family a long time ago we made the decision that because we serve on Sunday, that we make no commitments (at least on going ones) for Saturdays and use it as a day of rest and we tend to do more celebrating then regardless of the event. We use Saturday as our “Family” day…it helps us keep a day where we get to spend time together.

  5. Toni Camp

    Years ago, my husband gave me the challengene of speaking every Mother’s Day. It is a lot of work and Mother’s Day is one of my busiest Sundays, but I love it.

    I have to really communicate with my husband about holidays. Usually, I will initiate the planining. We always do an overnight trip sometime within a week of our anniversary. It doesn’t bother me that I have to plan it. I get exactly what I want and when he knows what that is he is happy to make it happen.

  6. Michelle Meeks

    The hardest part for me and what I have had to realize is that we are totally different ( I know, I am not so smart ) I have had to let my husband know in advance what I would like to have happen as a celebration. He told me to just spell it out for him. The reality is that he does love me A LOT but he does not appreciate gifts or celebrating holidays the way I do. His heart is to please me, but he needs my help because he won’t naturally think of it. So I’ve had to let go of my romantic dreams that he would try to read my mind, and instead say, hey love, I want “xyz” on this day, does that work for your schedule? sexy? no, but it works for us!

  7. Angela

    Michelle, I experienced every emotions reading your comment….I could have typed that.

    That is why I love L&LI!!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

1 × 4 =