You Asked Pt 15

question markQuestion: “How do you handle people who think they know you and you have never met?”


Well, I should say I have plenty of people that I feel like I know but really don’t, too. And I probably act like a total dork when I finally meet them too.


But I think I’ll answer this from the point of view of our kids. When we are around town or especially around the church, we have strangers walk up to us and talk to the kids about personal things that Jud has probably shared in a sermon or something. They are the kinds of conversations that would lead our kids to believe that they actually knew those people. 


So, we do lots of talking about the difference in people that know us and people that we know. The kids know that they can’t go with anyone unless they can say that person’s name … it doesn’t matter if that person knows the kids’ names or details about them or our family. It is tough. We work on being polite, but there is a fine line there because I don’t want them to get too comfortable talking to tons of people that they don’t know.


What do you do with your kids? And how would you answer that question for yourself?

6 thoughts on “You Asked Pt 15

  1. Tiffani

    That is an interesting issue (and kind of scary)!

    Many of us tell kids to not talk to strangers, then encourage them to answer people in public who ask polite questions of them. It sends a mixed message. I read a GREAT book about this years ago called The Gift of Fear. It talks all about how to protect our kids by arming them with good information and strategies for dealing with strangers without terrifying them, or making them think that people are generally bad. I’ve used so many of the techniques in the book that my kids can still answer “What do you do when…”-types of questions on auto-pilot. They think it’s so silly, but it gives me peace of mind.

  2. Katie Mayward

    I agree that this is an interesting issue, especially in ministry at bigger churches. Though I am obviously not dealing with this yet, it is right around the corner for me. Especially in Youth Ministry I have thought a lot about how I can best protect my child while at the same time being ok letting the students love on him. So I have not figured anything out yet for this since I am at the very beginning stages of this, but even the reality that many of the kids will want to hold him when he is an infant and this being my first I struggle with that a little. Also, my fellow pastors wives and I always joke about the baby snatchers around the church. Those people (usually women) who feel like they know you so well (because they know who you are) and always want to hold your baby even though I probably don’t know their name. I have heard that the sling helps a little because it is harder to take the baby in and out of that thing….. my two cents.

  3. Lori Wilhite

    Also, I don’t have an issue really with people knowing who I am … I struggle way more when they think I know who they are. I never know what to do when people walk up and say, “Do you know my name?” or some such thing.

    How do you handle that?

  4. April

    It’s funny you posted this topic. I’ve wanted to introduce myself to you for a while now, but I have always been afraid to. I don’t know if I ever will have the nerve to do it.

  5. Tiffany Cooper

    Yeah, why do people think it’s okay to pop quiz you about who they are? I always end up feeling on the spot and awkward. Of course, I think you quickly learn how to play it off but still!
    Good response to this question. I haven’t had this talk with my kids but think they may be ready for it now…at least my 2 oldest. Thanks for the input.

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