We are thankful that one of our great friends, Kerri Weems, is going to share a two part series on something ALL of us in ministry or leadership … time and balance. If you missed Kerri’s talk about time and balance at our JustONE Online Conference last fall, you can click here to watch the whole session or skip ahead to catch Kerri’s talk. You can see all of the JustONE sessions here or click on the Media tab above.
She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]. Proverbs 31:20 (AMP)
As pastor’s wives we can tend to feel guilty about having any time for ourselves that is unproductive and not focused on people. After all, it’s for people that we are called to ministry. Yet many times, it’s the very people we are called to love that take the most out of us. As a natural part of ministry, we live in response mode much of the time. We need to (and rightfully should) respond to the needs that arise in people’s lives: marriage crises, illness, deaths, babies, weddings, job loss, accidents, job promotions…the list goes on and on. (Wow, just typing that list made me emotionally drained. I think I need a nap.) If we are not careful, we can get stuck in response mode and lose our grip on living with intentionality and purpose. That’s why we have to guard the margin in our lives and in our schedules. We need to do this, not out of selfishness, but because we are committed to finishing our race well. One big way we can navigate this aspect of ministry is to create a little margin, or extra space in every area of our lives.
Take, for instance, creating margin in our schedules. On our daily planners margin can look like empty space. We live in a culture that is so busy that an empty block of time on our weekly schedule can almost make us feel guilty. At least that was my mindset. I used to make it my goal to fill up every blank space on my calendar. I was at every class party, every birthday party, every work meeting – even when my presence wasn’t necessary. If the space was open on my calendar, I dutifully penciled in the next appointment. Open space is there to be filled, right? Not really. Those blank spaces represent margin in our lives. They represent space to think, to plan, to breathe – and it’s important.
I love how Proverbs 31:20 in the Amplified version (above) puts it. “She reaches out her filled hands to the needy…” How silly would it be to go on an outreach to feed the poor, but only hand them empty bowls? Yet when we spend ourselves to the point of exhaustion and take no time to refill, this is exactly how we are trying to do ministry. We will be terribly ineffective, and in the end, resentful. Margin in our lives represents the space to refill.
Truth be told, there are many, many, days where I don’t have any margin at all. I am up at the crack of dawn and work until sundown. I love the feeling of working hard and getting the job done. But I’m smart enough now to realize that I can’t sustain that pace. I can’t build friendships at that pace. I can’t be spiritually, emotionally and mentally healthy at that pace. My kids can’t remember what I look like at that pace. Now I have learned to look at empty spaces on my calendar as margin in my life. I build margin into every week, and I guard it faithfully. If need be, it provides space for the unexpected. And if the unexpected doesn’t happen, well then, I’ve just got margin.
How do you build margin into your schedule and life? How do see the lack of margin affecting your ministry and life?