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Leading and Loving It

Hello … Giveaway

Posted by Lori Wilhite

And, the winners are:

1. Eleana Garza – found us through Google
2. Lindsey – found us through Jessica Cornelius
3. Lisa – found us through a pastor’s wife blog
4. Lori Thurman – found us through her husband

We’ll connect with you by email and send you your awesome Hello Freedom perfume this week. Enjoy!

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It is big giveaway day! Yea!

Hello Somebody is one of our favorite organizations. You might know them from their super cute watches.

A few weeks ago they launched their new perfume, Hello Freedom to bring preventative care to girls living in high risk areas and restorative care to victims of sex trafficking in partnership with Rescue Her. I’ve been wearing Hello Freedom daily since I got mine at Catalyst, and I love it.

And, it is your lucky day, ladies. We have 4 … count ‘em … 4 bottles of Hello Freedom to give away today.

All you have to do is quickly tell us how you found Leading and Loving It. Was it a tweet or status update? The JustONE Conference? A friend? A conference? Something else?

Comments close at midnight on Friday. We’ll draw for winners this weekend.

And don’t forget that even if you don’t win the drawing, you can still smell fantastic, support a great organization, and buy a bottle of your own!

Mother Knows Best

I am not much of a “Hallmark Holiday” celebrating kind of girl BUT Mother’s Day is an exception. I  think that is because 12 years ago I became a mother and realized what a joy and responsibility it is. Three of my greatest days in my life were the days I met Charlie, Victoria and Zane. Mother’s Day for me now is also a chance to celebrate my mom and how hard (I realize now) she worked raising 4 kids!

I have learned incredible things from my mom. She has taught me fun…making rice crispy treats for breakfast. She has taught me patience…staying up endless hours helping with reports I put off until the last minute. She has taught me marriage…I watched her demonstrate love to my dad for almost 40 years. She has taught me joy…always celebrating those around her. The list goes on.

I would say one of the greatest things my mom taught me was that when you need comfort to run to God. When I was in high school and struggling during a time my mom cried with me and talked with me but most importantly she took me to Psalm 91. I can still remember the first time I read Psalm 91 in 1990 but what my mom may not realize is how taking that time with me then has carried me through other difficult times. Whenever I am down, discouraged or fearful I remember that night and turn to Psalm 91. Thank you Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!

What is your favorite thing your mom taught you? Is there a specific scripture you think of when it comes to your mom?

A Glimpse … into Retreat

Stephanie Shouse is one of our favorite people. She and her husband serve in a single-staff church in Western Kentucky, and she leads a wonderful Virtual Community of Senior Pastors’ Wives. She has an incredible spirit. Just being around her will bless your socks off. Stephanie wrote this post a couple of months ago and is letting us re-post it here so you can get a glimpse into her experience at the L&L It 2011 Retreat. Thanks Stephanie for sharing here, and thanks for all you do to support other ladies!

From Stephanie:

Last year God gave me a wonderful opportunity: He provided for me to go to the very first Leading & Loving It retreat for pastor’s wives & women in ministry. I was so excited! Then I began the process of registration…One of the first questions I had to answer (after giving my name & address, of course) was “church size.” The options listed were <500/500-1500/1500-5000/5000-10,000/>10,000. I almost backed out. Less than 500 is the smallest option?!? What about less than 100? ‘Cause that’s where I am! I immediately began to question whether or not I belonged at this retreat. But I was not too far removed from a very difficult time in ministry and REALLY wanted to get away and connect with other PW’s. So I continued with the registration. As the time for the retreat grew closer, I began to stress about fitting in and attempted to transform my wardrobe from podunk to posh with a budget of $15. But God had provided abundantly for me to be able to attend this retreat (and eat while I was there)! I was not going to let talk of designer heels and new makeup deter me from what promised to be a great source of spiritual refreshment! Leading & Loving It, here I come!

As I arrived in Nashville the voices in my head started raising concerns: What are you doing here?  Do you really think anyone is going to notice you? You’ve got nothing to offer that these women don’t already have! They’re probably going to set you aside or ignore you or pity you because your church is so small and your ministry is so insignificant! You don’t have anything in common with these ladies from these big churches! What do they know about your life?

I shoved my insecurities in my frayed back pocket and marched into the ballroom of the beautiful Union Station- determined to make some real connections. I asked God to give me courage and to lead me to some ladies who had something in common with me. I ended up eating supper with a group of ladies from all over the country: Ohio, New York, West Virginia, California… all of whom came to the L&LI retreat alone. Instantly we connected and began to get to know one another. Over salads we began to share our lives: travel stories, parenting dilemmas, marriage joys, ministry struggles. Over an hour full of laughter and friendship passed before someone casually asked: What is your church like? As my new friends began to answer I began to squirm. They were all from really interesting and exciting ministries. The lady next to me answered the question by stating nonchalantly that she was from California and that her husband was the senior pastor of a church of over 8,000 members! I wanted to melt into the background. What am I doing here acting like I’m on the same level as these wonderful ladies? They’ve obviously got it together to come from such great churches. What’s gonna happen when they find out I don’t belong? Oh no. Everyone is looking at me. It must be my turn to answer that dreaded question. “I come from a half-traditional/half-contemporary church in rural Kentucky that was established over 150 years ago and runs about 75 people on a good Sunday,” I whispered apologetically. Then the lady next to me at the table, the one whose church has over 8,000 people of course, put her arm around me, looked me in the eye, and said “Wow! I admire you so much! I don’t see how you do it! You must really love God to devote your entire life to ministry like that! What an amazing person you are!” I did a double-take to see if she was being sarcastic or if she rolled her eyes after making such an outrageous comment… she didn’t! She made me feel so very good about my current situation that I spent the rest of the weekend looking for other ladies that I could encourage the way she had encouraged me!

Turns out even ladies who are in obviously successful ministries need encouragement. Even ladies who look fabulous in skinny jeans want to be told they’re pretty. Even PW’s from large, rockin’ churches with flashing lights and fog machines can enjoy the friendship of a PW from a tiny church who only recently introduced Chris Tomlin’s music to her congregation. They might not be fighting with their organist over the volume of the invitation song but they still deal with difficult people. We have much in common. Our outsides may be very different, but our insides are the same. We love God, we love our families, and we love our people… no matter how many or how few they may be.

Registration is now open for the next Leading & Loving It retreat in September. (Click here for more info) I encourage you to do everything you can to be a part of this encouraging get-away. I know money is an issue but start saving now! You need this time to be encouraged in your life and ministry, to connect with other PW’s around the world, and to discover that you are not alone! If you are a small church PW, don’t let insecurity about your own situation keep you from coming. Come knowing that we all have something in common: large or small, Gucci or Goodwill, rockin’ or country, Corona California or Spottsville Kentucky. We are all Leading & Loving It! Hope to see y’all there!

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS AND REGISTRATION INFORMATION ABOUT RETREAT.

Fun Friday…Staff Wives Speak Up About Their Relationship with the Senior Pastor’s Wife

Posted by:  Jessica Cornelius

Today is going to be a little different.  The content is going to come from you if you are a staff wife, or were a staff wife in the past.  A lot of senior pastors’ wives sincerely want to know how they can best lead and love the staff wives on their team.  I am wondering if sometimes the senior pastors’ wife (me included) assumes the staff wives would enjoy xyz, when really they would like something totally different.  I don’t want this to turn into a complaining session.  I really want to use this feedback to expand our leadership in these relationships.  I also want to hear about specific things that your senior pastor’s wife has done that you really appreciated.  I am fully aware that all of us have different personalities, and are in different seasons of life.  So, it’s good to keep that in mind as you read the comments.

In two weeks, we will turn the question around to the senior pastors’ wives and have them tell us how staff wives can be an encouragement to them.

If you are reluctant to share because you think your pastor’s wife might take something you say the wrong way, you can comment anonymously or through a friend. 

Dealing With Discouragement

Posted by Tiffany Cooper

Last week we discussed a common issue many pastors and pastors’ wives experience, discouragement. When you’re facing discouragement, it’s easy to lose motivation, hope, and confidence.

In his article, “Some Cures for Discouragement,” Rick Warren says,

“Do you know how often I have wanted to quit being pastor of Saddleback Church? Every Monday morning!”

Warren then goes on to discuss causes and cures for discouragement.

Causes: (Read his article for more details.)

• Fatigue
• Frustration
• Failure
• Fear

Cures: (Read his article for more details.)

• Rest Your Body
• Reorganize You Life
• Remember God Will Help You
• Resist The Discouragement

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Personally, I have found that I become more easily discouraged when I’m overwhelmed. It’s in those moments, I try to take a step back and breath, just be, and relax. Once I’ve pulled myself away, it’s easier to evaluate my situation and the things that I can or can’t change. These moments also allow me to think “big picture” instead of “immediate circumstance”.

God’s gifts to me during discouraging times:

• His word. His faithfulness. His guidance.
• My husband.
• My friends. If you are without ministry friends, I encourage you to change that. Having great friends in ministry is a game changer.
  • Join us at our Leading and Loving It Road Trip Retreat this year!!! We want you there! This retreat will change your life. You will leave refreshed, supported, loved, and enthusiastic about life. Do whatever you can to get there!
• My favorite things…the little things.

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Romans 15:13 is my prayer for all of us today.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Let’s share today… How do you deal with discouragement? How do you abound in hope?