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Leading and Loving It

I blame my schedule!

Posted by TIffany Cooper

Last week we started to discuss why we blame ministry for our misery. I know, sounds like a downer of a topic. I’m a little sorry about that, not completely though. Many of us have had those moments when ministry is not our friend. So let’s go a little deeper into one of the common areas we unfairly place blame on ministry.

Blame: We never have quality time together.

Ministry is an all-encompassing call. It involves teaching, leadership, staff, budgets, vision casting, counseling, equipping leaders, problem solving, conflict resolution, volunteers, and so much more. Bottom line, it takes a lot of work!

I believe that we should work hard. The Bible instructs us to work 6 days and rest on the 7^th day. Ministry can definitely fill all 7 days a week with work. As followers of Christ, we should be obedient to God’s instruction and rest on the 7^th day. The question becomes, is the lack of rest and family time a legitimate work related issue or our lack of planning and boundary setting.

(Side Note: This post is not about separating family and ministry time. It’s about those instances when ministry schedules suffocate healthy family time.)

So, how can we evaluate whether we’re unfairly blaming ministry for our lack of family time? Here are a few thoughts to start with…

• Are you expecting your spouse to meet the needs that only God can fill in your life? Your spouse cannot be God to you. It’s unfair to place those expectations on them; your spouse will fail at being God every time.
• Are you living in a fairytale world? Do you expect to always have the perfect amount of family time with all of the members fully engaged? I suppose that would be nice but that’s not the real world. Even the families who have great family time understand there are season that require more personal investment.
• Are you being specific about how you will make family a priority. Just wanting family time won’t make it happen, you have to work at it. Each family has different dynamics, decide what works for your family and commit to it. It’s unfair to blame the ministry for your lack of planning. Talk about it, commit to your plan, get it on paper and do it! Be sure to re-evaluate and make changes, very few things work perfectly the first time.

I do realize that there are ministry situations that you can’t control. Start by evaluating your schedule.

• If you’re setting your own schedule.
  1. Are you filling your schedule with unnecessary events?
  2. Are there ways you can work smarter instead of harder?
  3. Are you only scheduling ministry events? It will help if you also schedule family times too.
  4. Are you a non-schedule person? If so, you will have to be even more vigilant to not let ministry related events take over family time.
• If a boss or leader is setting your schedule.
  1. Communicate your schedule concerns with them.
  2. Do not attack. Commit to listen to them. Don’t get defensive; simply express what you would like to change.
  3. Don’t just ask for a change, come with possible solutions.
  4. Suggest a trial period for your new schedule.
  5. Understand that you might not get what you want.
  6. Maintain a good attitude.
• Reminder: We should work hard. Personally, I am completely happy with my family time. My husband shows that our family is his priority with his words and his time but he also works very hard. He works 40-60 hours a week depending on the season of ministry.

It’s said that your ministry will only be as healthy as your family. At some point, your church will suffer if you’re family is suffering. It’s my desire that you would experience the joy of a healthy family!

Let’s talk! What does your family time look like? Do you have some helpful suggestions for maintaining a healthy schedule? Thoughts?

Through the Eyes of … The Senior Pastor, Part 2

Posted by:  Jessica Cornelius

With a contagious zest for life, Bobbie Houston passionately believes in the potential of all people and is devoted to the Cause of Christ.  Her and Brian’s all consuming desire is to place value on humanity.  To that end they labor to see healthy men, women and youth emerge across the landscape of the Church.

She is a wife, mother, grammy, friend, pastor, creative visionary, communicator, author, role model and mentor.  Her life reflects the message that she teaches-that people have incredible God-given potential waiting to be unleashed.  It is this message that has defined her life.  Bobbie has a desire to see value placed on womanhood, a passion that underpins the annual Colour Your World Women’s Conference, which she and the Hillsong team host in Sydney, London and Kiev annually.  Since 1997, Colour, has been bringing a message of value, work, and dignity to women from around the world, encouraging and inspiring them to be all God has created them to be.  Colour has also been a catalyst for mobilizing thousands of women, moved with compassion and a heart for justice, to help poor and marginalized children and women in developing nations.  Bobbie has been married to Brian for over 30 years and they have three grown children; Joel, Ben and Laura.  Together, they have an ever-growing family (including three beautiful granddaughters).

1.  How do you create an environment for those on your staff to flourish? By allowing them to dream, carry the vision, and find expression in the calling upon their lives.  My husband says that “everyone is entitled to a vision”-and even when they are working with you and serving the vision of the house they are planted in, they can still fulfill what is personally upon their lives.

2.  How do you expand your capacity for ministry? Take the stretch.  Stretching is the only way to expand capacity.

3.  What do your children say they love the most about church? I think they love the atmosphere, the can-do spirit, the adventure…and a genuine passion for Jesus and His salvation plan for the earth.

4.  What local, national, or global issues grieve you the most? Injustice in any form.  Anything that devalues individual personhood upsets me.  Also with the birth of the Colour conference and the Sisterhood movement, we live with a strong concern and passion about womanhood and anything that undermines or attacks it.

5.  Besides getting a front row seat to seeing all of the changed lives in your ministry, what else do you love about the ministry? Honestly ministry is not complicated for me.  I fell in love with Jesus, I love His Church and consider it an honor to be involved at any level of serving what He laid His life down for.  I LOVE IT ALL.

6.  When do you get stressed out? Sometimes the pressure of preparing a message stresses me.  Only because I want to get it right and I can be so slowwwww at getting my thoughts on paper.  And preparing for Colour because I recognize the weightiness of all it represents.

7.  In what area of ministry do you serve? And what is your most creative idea you’ve done in the last year?  My husband and I are the Senior pastors of Hillsong around the world.  We watch over the greater vision, the “heart and soul” of this house and those who have been entrusted to carry it with us.  It is a 24/7 love affair and calling.  The Colour conference is also my baby and I run that in four continents each year.  As for my most creative idea, maybe hearing God’s Spirit tell me (at the close of Colour this year) to “simply tell the women to go home and FLOURISH”.  But then again, every good and bright idea really comes down to us from above.  So I can’t take credit.  It’s His idea that we flourish! 

8.  How do you cope with the hurts and betrayals that come in leadership? Ya just learn to move on quickly and not let it sit in or on your spirit.  True leadership doesn’t have the luxury of wallowing in the mud for very long.

9.  How do you balance family, work, friends, ministry, and life? They are all important.  So just roll your sleeves up and learn to manage much.  Listen to your family and be wise to the various seasons in “their” lives.  And remember God has grace for every inch of the journey.

10.  How do you handle the expectations of being a Pastor’s Wife or Woman in Ministry?Conquered that many years ago.  Just be true to yourself.  Know who you are, be comfortable in your own skin, and be gracious if you encounter archaic mindsets about this.  Being a woman in God’s kingdom today is fantastic.  There’s room for fabulous involvement, influential contribution and wonderful adventure!

God bless!!!

Bobbie

How do you handle the expectations of being a pastor’s wife or woman in ministry?

Why I Have Friends… Inanimate BFFs

Posted by Brandi Wilson

I’m in Atlanta today at ChurchPlanter’s Conference with Lori hugging some Leading and Loving It gals necks in person… not just virtually!

As I continue talking about friendship I think I have to say that I probably throw some inanimate objects in the BFF ring. For instance, take who greets me first each morning. My husband prefers I not even acknowledge him until I’ve said “Good morning” to Keurig.

This was a gift from friends that I never knew I wanted but now would be hard pressed to live without. Keurig is an “inner-circle” friend.

My coffee is followed closely by a shake that actually keeps me full until lunch. Michelle Myers hooked me up with Shakeology and I have to say both my husband and myself are huge fans. It’s the meal that keeps on giving.

I can blame this next BFF on my next door neighbor. A few years ago she said “Do you want some hand-me-down jeans?” I knew she had expensive taste and immediately told her yes… my life was forever changed. I’m one of those believers of the glory known as designer denim. It’s one of those things I have to save birthday money for… or try on at a store then purchase much cheaper on Ebay, but few things make me feel better about myself then great jeans.

And if you know me at all the last object will come as no surprise to you. My Apple products. Our family drank the Kool-Aid and now we’re all big fans of any Apple product. I’ve said many times I would like to work as a genius in the Apple store when I grow up.

I was in a conversation with a friend the other day when I personified “Keurig” and my friend sweetly said, “Did you just refer to an inanimate object as a friend?” There’s no shame in my game, sometimes it’s the little things.

What object would you count as your Inanimate BFF?

Why I Have Friends… Part 1

Why I Have Friends… Part 2

Why I Have Friends… Part 3

Road Trip Retreat …

It’s Road Trip time! Hop in a car … jump on a plane … catch the train … and join us for our Leading and Loving It Retreat, September 11-13, 2012 in Oklahoma City at the Renaissance Hotel.

Are you a Pastor’s Wife? A ministry wife? Serving on a church staff? Running a Christian non-profit? A missionary? If so, then this retreat is designed specifically for you. Road Trip is about CONNECTING, ENCOURAGING, and EQUIPPING women in ministry and leadership.

WHEN YOU REGISTER 5 OR MORE PEOPLE, YOU’LL AUTOMATICALLY RECEIVE A 10% DISCOUNT.

The $250 registration fee includes:

- 3 main sessions and small group sessions
- Breakout sessions
- Wednesday Lunch and Dinner
- 3 fun Leading and Loving It events and dessert receptions
- Retreat materials
- T-shirt
- Lots of goodies and surprises along the way
- Time to relax and rejuvenate

*Please note that hotel is not included.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR RETREAT.

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To book your hotel:

Please contact the Renaissance Hotel at 1-800-468-3571 and mention that you are with Leading and Loving It to get our group discount of $149 per night (price based on single occupancy … so find a friend and cut the price in half!). Remember that you can take the shuttle from the airport, so by not renting a car, you can save money by staying with us!

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Speakers

Main Sessions:
Session 1: Lori Wilhite and Brandi Wilson
Session 2: Panel Discussion and Q&A with the Leading and Loving It Team
Session 3: Interview with Amy Groeschel

Break Out Sessions:
Equipping Marriages with Cindy Beall, Jenni Clayville, and Trisha Davis
Church Planting with Jessica Cornelius
Leadership Lessons with Tiffany Cooper
Healthy, Unified Staff with Lisa Hughes

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Schedule

Tuesday September 11, 2012
3:00pm Registration Table Opens
4:00-5:30pm Reception for Virtual Community Group Leaders and L&L It Local Leaders
Please eat dinner before Retreat begins.
6:00pm Retreat Begins – Session 1
8:30pm L&L It Event and Dessert

Wednesday September 12, 2012
10:00am Session 2 Worship and Breakout Sessions
12:00pm Lunch
4:00pm L&L It optional Event, Dinner Included
6:30pm Session 3
8:30pm L&L It Event and Dessert

Thursday September 13, 2012
9:00am Session 4 and Worship
11:30am Retreat Ends

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Please email us with any questions at: leadingandlovingit[at]me[dot]com

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CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR RETREAT.

L&L It Local … San Antonio

With the help of the amazing Eleana Garza and the fabulous ladies below, we are currently piloting Local Community Groups in the San Antonio area. This is a wonderful opportunity to take the friendship and encouragement found in our Virtual Community Groups into coffee shops and cafes so ladies can connect eye to eye and heart to heart.

If you live in San Antonio, jump in and find a group to join. If you know another Pastor’s Wife or Woman in Ministry living in the SA area, please let them know about this great opportunity.

LOCAL COMMUNITY GROUPS FOR PASTORS’ WIVES AND WOMEN IN MINISTRY

Alicia Moore is married to Jonathan Moore, lead pastor of Northrock Church in beautiful San Antonio, TX.  They planted Northrock church in January of 2009. Alicia and Jonathan have served in various areas of church ministry including students, married life, and music. Alicia is passionate about worship music and has enjoyed watching God redefine the lives of so many people in this journey of church planting. She has two amazing boys, Mason & Britton, and a beautiful mini-aussie, Cali. For fun she loves going on dates with her husband, reading a good book and attending her kids sporting events. You can connect with her on Facebook.

REGISTER FOR ALICIA MOORE’S GROUP BY CLICKING HERE.
Who: SR Pastors’ Wives & Church Planters’ Wives
When: 1st Tuesday at 7 pm
Where: La Madeleine
18030 US Hwy 281 N
San Antonio, Texas

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Amanda Hall and her husband Trey planted Remnant Church in October 2011 in Schertz, TX. They are the parents of 4 dynamite worker bees in the ministry: Maya, Marcos, Angelina and Judah. Amanda has been leading worship since age 14. She is currently the Worship and Children’s Director for Remnant Church. Amanda is also a “domestic engineer” for Hall Enterprises (a.k.a. “Stay-At-Home Mommy”). She gets excited about reaching the “unreachable” for Jesus. Amanda does facial massages on herself before every church service, in hopes of avoiding facial cramps from over-smiling. Amanda is passionate about connecting with other woman who are passionate about God, ministry, and coffee. You can connect her on Facebook.

REGISTER FOR AMANDA HALL’S GROUP BY CLICKING HERE.
Who: Pastors’ Wives/Ministry Wives (Sr, Assoc, Student, Worship, etc)
When: 1st Wednesday at 11 am
Where: Rolling Oaks Mall (Upper Level, Food Court, Near Claires)
6909 N Loop 1604 E
San Antonio, Texas

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Angie Brown is married to Jason, Lead Pastor of 19:10 church in Boerne Texas. They planted in September of 2006 after being in youth ministry for 16 years. They have two amazing daughters, Madison and Annie, that she prays fall more and more in love with Jesus each day. Angie also serves as the coordinator for the Radiant Sisterhood. She realizes she has an amazing spiritual heritage; both her dad & grandfather were pastors. Growing up in a pastor’s home, she feels God has prepared her for this incredible life. Some of her favorite things include coffee, chatting & friends. You can connect with her on Facebook & Twitter.

REGISTER FOR ANGIE BROWN’S GROUP BY CLICKING HERE.
Who: SR Pastors’ Wives & Church Planters’ Wives
When: 1st Monday of every month at 10 am
Where: Mimi’s Cafe (at the Rim)
17315 Interstate 10 W
San Antonio, Texas

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Divina Shelley has been passionate about ministry since a young elementary child. She has been married to her best friend, Philip Shelley. They work together side by side in ministry as friends, as engaged couple, and still as a married couple in diverse areas of ministry such as: inner city missions, foreign missions, children’s ministry, student ministry, and young adult ministry. Divina is a former elementary teacher who is a stay at home mom to her 3 kids, Isabella, Everette, and Eva. She is enthusiastic keeping “Family First” in ministry with a healthy balance of reaching multicultural youth, young adults, and young married couples of this generation. Her hobbies are scrapbooking, traveling, missions, beach & garden picnics, and connecting with other mommies in the community. She assists Philip, Youth & Young Adults Pastor at Trinity Church, in ministry. You may connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

REGISTER FOR DIVINA SHELLEY’S GROUP BY CLICKING HERE.
Who: Pastors’ Wives/Ministry Wives (Sr, Assoc, Student, Worship, etc)
When: 1st Monday of every month at 7 pm
Where: La Madeleine (Northwoods/Hwy.281)
8030 US Hwy 281 N, Suite 201
San Antonio, Texas

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