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Leading and Loving It

After the Wedding Wednesday … 3 O’Clock Feedings & Screaming Toddlers

Three more weeks in our “After the Wedding Wednesday” series. We are partnering with our amazing friends to help those women whose marriages are hurting or broken. You can meet each of these ladies and read their stories here.

I think most of us can relate to these great thoughts by Cindy Beall:

She was mesmerized by him.

Just the mere thought of him as she went about her daily routine made her stomach do somersaults.  She could hardly wait until the end of the day so that she could gaze into his dreamy, green eyes.

He couldn’t believe that God created such a gorgeous creature for him to love.  She was more that he’d ever dreamed about and quite frankly, he found himself wondering if he was, indeed, in a dream.

He was not.

Not only did they have a strong spiritual connection because of their faith in Christ, but the physical chemistry was, well, let’s just say, not lacking.  And on to the altar they went.

Their first several months together were spectacular.  They rarely disagreed.  They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They went to nice dinners and movies.  They took trips and went to concerts.  They did whatever they wanted.

People envied them and saw how connected they were as a couple.

It was sexy.  They were sexy.

But they also couldn’t wait for their future together which included adding children to the mix.

So, they added children to the mix.

And then it began to get a little complicated.

She wasn’t preoccupied with her husband as much.  He began to wonder if they’d ever have a moment alone.  She was frustrated and sleep-deprived.  He felt unappreciated.

And this was anything but sexy.

I hear stories like this often from couples.  They want to know where the flame went and how they get it back.  They want to know if this is how it will always be.  And I assure them it’s just part of life.  It’s part of becoming parents.  And that children are blessings from God.

But these precious, little blessings take a large portion of our time to care for and protect.  They zap our energy and cause us to fall into bed at night only to be awoken by some cries in a few hours because a tummy is empty once again.

Friends, this is where true love happens.  This is where the whole vows to one another kick in.  It’s incredibly easy to love your husband or wife whenever things are wonderful.  When the stars are all lined up.  It’s an entirely different thing to love one another when you’ve got a toddler who is screaming his head off as you make an attempt to have a family lunch date on a Saturday afternoon.

If you are there, here, in this place, just know that you won’t always be here.  Do your best to enjoy the early morning times with your child.  Steal moments with your husband or wife throughout the day and let them know that you are still happy you are married and that you wouldn’t change a minute of your current, chaotic world.

Because what you are making are called memories.

Even screaming toddlers crying in restaurants are memories.

Kate Reply:
 June 22nd, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Great post, thanks! We are so there!

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Terri Schultz Reply:
 June 23rd, 2011 at 3:57 am

Make sure to find some moments to have couple time, but know that there is so much time on the other side! Now that my kids are older, I enjoy the special times with my husband.
We found, when our kids were young, that it was so important to greet each other at the door, and let the kiddos know that we were most important to each other. We didn’t get oodles of time together, and the exhaustion wasn’t exactly attractive, but we still made sure we kept each other first before the kids. It paid off. Now our baby is 15. It feels like we made it!

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Michelle Meeks Reply:
 June 23rd, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Thank you for this! We are re-entering this phase and I appreciate the encouragement and advice.

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