Social Media 101

101by Trisha Davis

Social media is one of those rare events in which we get to say “remember when that was invented.” It’s a phenomenon much like the invention of the telephone or the Internet, in which, its very creation has forever changed human behavior. The drawback to being one of the first to take part in this type of marvel is the lack of rules of engagement.

I love to read. I love to read books, newspapers, even weather reports for that matter. I feel like I know exactly what I’m getting into when I choose to read a book. The rules of engagement are clear; I can finish the book or not finish the book. I can choose to read all of the newspaper or parts of the newspaper. I’m not accountable to anybody but me.

I also love to read tweets, Facebook posts, blogs and Instagram hashtags.  Although each are a form of expressing words, the words of social media seem to carry a heavier burden than simply siting down to read a book. Sometimes Oftentimes Most of the time, social media requires us to be… well… social…at least virtually.

But I haven’t been able to sit down with a mentor and ask: “how did you deal with this social media situation” because they are beginners too. When I started reading Lori and Brandi’s book “Leading and Loving It” for the first time I read some honest, hilarious and insightful nuggets of truth about social media. It was so healing for my heart to read their words that I wanted to share an excerpt of their book with you!


Our online home.

We treat our teeny-tiny corners of the social networking world like our online homes. So if we wouldn’t let people standing in our kitchens talk to us about our friends, our churches, or our families the way they are talking to us online, then we delete, block, or unfriend. We don’t mind people disagreeing with us at all. We are quite aware that we are far from having all the right answers, but when people are hateful or just plain rude, well, we don’t have time for that. And we are willing to bet, neither do you.

Social networking is more like a billboard than a diary.

We need to assume that nothing is private. With the ability to copy, download, share, and repost, we decided long ago that if we wouldn’t post our update on a billboard in town or on the screens in our churches, we wouldn’t post it on Facebook. That means (although we’ve certainly had our moments) no whining, no grouching, and no oversharing… #ifyouknowwhatimean.

It’s not a boxing ring.

Confrontations with people on Twitter and Facebook are completely useless. As our friend Linda says, “A disparaging dialogue [on social networking] accomplishes nothing and will never have a positive outcome, so I choose not to participate, even when I am attacked head-on.” Sure, you can always address that kind of trouble in face-to-face sit downs or over the phone, but it’s best not to use Facebook like a public boxing ring for disagreements.

If I could, I would have put the whole darn chapter in this post! SUCH. GOOD. STUFF. Please hear me out. I would absolutely talk about this book simply because two people I love wrote it BUT this book is seriously life giving. I told both Brandi and Lori that I believe this book could have saved my marriage from going down the destructive path it did, had I had the validation, guidance and encouragement that is found throughout every page.

Not only do they address social media, but matters of the heart from their own personal stories of leadership failures and success.

Maybe today you feel defeated because social media is overwhelming your heart.

Maybe leadership as a pastor’s wife in general is leaving you defeated. Be encouraged today that you’re not alone.

We ALL have sinned and fallen short, ESPECIALLY in the area of social media.

But today you can choose to empower yourself to learn to choose wisely by seeking wise counsel so that you can begin or continue to Lead and Love It regardless of what new phenomenon is being invented. 🙂 

What advice would you add in the area of social media? 

5 thoughts on “Social Media 101

  1. Raven Mayhorn

    Tbh… my husband and I are ready to throw our hands up where social media is concerned…. I know there is a time and place for everything… however, getting that through to other people is proving to be very challenging… great blog! Very encouraging! Taking these 3 points and sharing! Can’t wait to get the book!

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  3. Todd

    Me and my wife have given up on social media as it took too much of our time and we were on the computer too much. We now spend that time with each other and more time with god.

  4. Jamie

    Social Media is such a big deal to the younger generation that it has become an important pastoral tool. I have found it useful to connect to a wider range of people than is possible for me to meet with or even say hi to at church gatherings. One thing I have found is that young people notice and care whether or not I like or comment on their social media. They are far less concerned about what I post as they are about if I like what they post. So I am learning to be generous with my affirmation when I can.

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