Permission to Shed the Armor.

Posted by Joy Cannis

hero |ˈhi(əә)rō|

noun (pl. heroes)

1 a person, typically a man, who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities

Somehow, somewhere, we women got it in our heads that our men are unshakeable. That nothing should affect them, especially the way it affects us…They are the strong ones…There isn’t anything they can’t shrug off and move on from. Well, this simply isn’t true. And that fact doesn’t make them any less of a hero.

When my man walks through the door, in from the world and all of its toxic arrows, the first thing he should be able to do is shed his armor.

I don’t always allow him to do that. I don’t always tell him what an amazing provider he is and how strong and courageous he is to fight the daily battles that I could never withstand. I’m not always his biggest cheerleader and I don’t always let him know that there is no one, to me, like he is.

JCP2015-I want to. I do.

MY will gets in the way.
MY clouded perception of who does what and who should do more or less, creeps up.
MY skewed sense of self worth puts up a wall that isn’t always easily torn down and instead of voicing my insecurity, I lash out.
MY self-centeredness kicks in, more than I would like to admit and within moments, my priorities can center solely around my wants.
This is not something I’m proud of.

Here is the solution. And I know this, because I have failed at so many other ways of trying.

When I wake up in the morning, I connect with my Heavenly Father. I ask that He please help me keep that connection open ALL day. At night, I check back in and review my day.

It is my belief that when I cry out to God in this way, satan has no ground on which to stand. He is not able to gain a stronghold, because he is bound by the King of Kings. However, I never lose sight of the truth that what satan wants more than anything is to destroy our family. And because of this, I will come before the Father requesting things that I know He already does. I expose my deep and never ending need for His presence in my life, our marriage and our ministry.

That open connection reminds me to remain receptive to changing things up where needed to avoid a rut. I must make it a priority to champion Chris in front of others. This is such a simple way to build my husband. (Sincere public recognition goes a long way.) That said, I need to be encouraging him in private. When it’s just him and me. When there is no audience and we are in our own space.

I want to challenge you this week to encourage your man to look at himself through your eyes so that he can marvel at what a masterpiece he is. (Just using those words will make him feel valued.) Sometimes we, as women, must be willing to kickstart change. We have to stop waiting, with unrealistic expectations, for our man to do everything.

I am not disputing the fact that Chris is the head of our home. I am simply reiterating what the wise Mother said to her daughter in the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”…
“The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.”

That’s a great deal of power and responsibility. Use it wisely.

2 thoughts on “Permission to Shed the Armor.

  1. Mark Allman

    Joy,
    I know that it impacts me so much when someone I loves does this. When they champion me in public or in private makes me want to make sure I continue to be worthy of their praise. We should all do this for those we love.

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