Book-A-Day Giveaway – Day 3.

**A winner has been chosen. @MrsTommyD on Twitter, you will be hearing from us soon.**

Leading and Loving It: Encouragement for Pastors Wives and Women in Leadership  is out!

In order to celebrate, we are doing a book-a-day giveaway around here this week.

Each day we will post a quote from the book. Then you’ll have two ways to enter each day.

1. Leave a comment with your thoughts and experiences related to the quote.
2. Repost the quote on FB, Twitter, and Instagram using the hashtag #leadingandlovingit.

Each day’s giveaway ends at mid-night PST. Winners will be drawn at random, notified by email and announced on the blog post.

Good luck!



32 thoughts on “Book-A-Day Giveaway – Day 3.

  1. Grace Jones

    So true. Yet so hard sometimes. Because the church wants you to be happy doesn’t mean they are willing to respect boundaries to allow you to get there. Or at least that has been what I have noticed.

    Thankfully not for my marriage, but two people we have worked with have left ministry altogether because of the toll ministry crook on their family. Seeing their struggle has made me determined to fight for happiness in my marriage.

  2. Rachel hopkins

    When my husband and I are thriving, putting our marriage first; everything else seems to fall right into place. Just as with us, we are the bride of Christ and when we put our relationship with Christ first everything else has a way of either working or the things that didn’t need to be taking up our time seem to fade away.

  3. Linda Dale

    I totally agree with that. So many couples today are leaving the church, their families (for other women/men), and then in turn forgetting the whole family value that the Lord intended for us to have in the first place. Satan is so elated when marriages fail. I am so thankful for my husband and how he provides for me and our three children. I pray that we have been a good role model for marriage of 25 years for our children.

  4. Michelle

    While I am not married yet, I can see how important thriving marriages are in the church and families that make up the church. I am considered divorced although I was not legally married due to some silly choices 7 years ago. Anyways, I do know that if I am blessed to marry again, it will be rooted in Christ and be an example of what a thriving marriage is to be and look like!

  5. Rachel Hines

    Everything suffers if your marriage is suffering. I’m so thankful for a scheduled day off every week, everyone knows not to bother us this day; we are connecting as husband and wife and as family. We need it, and our church family needs to see this modeled!
    So thankful for this ministry and the wisdom you all share with us.

  6. Rachel McAllister

    I love my family. Love my children, but the kids grow up and will move out if the house….Then, it’s just you and your husband. You have to take time now to work on your marriage, so when you are alone, kids all gone, you are still BFF’s. You have things in common,( besides the kids) to talk about. You loved each other before you had kids-remember why you fell for each other. Keep those flames burning now – work on your marriage now. #inloveforlife #leadingandlovingit

  7. Lee

    I was just thinking the other day, after listening to the song Wild Things by Andy Mineo (Christian Rap) how we are the only Bible some people read. This line of the song really goes with what you’re saying:
    “But um, if we ain’t living it who else gon’ show em – What a family supposed to look like instead of them broken homes.”

  8. Shauna Hamilton

    It’s so true! I will always try to put my husband first. We made that promise to each other. I’ve had people make all sorts of disparaging comments but I don’t care. They just remind me of where my energy needs to be directed. 🙂

  9. Raven Mayhorn

    Family… Marriage… Relationship… God reveals Himself through these things… we are the bride… He is our Father… Jesus is portayed as our brother… to the world, we reflect God’s nature in our family relationships, therefore the healthier we are in them, the more rightly we reflect who He truly is. Love, peace, mercy…. Apply these to our marriage and we have a healthy marriage. We reflect the nature of God, the people see how marvelous He is and are drawn to Him, therefore they become healthy in their relationships with the Lord and each other… slowly building a healthy church!

  10. Kari

    Amen! It gives people hope and it shows the power of Christ! Let it be in my marriage and family. I want the whole world to know that my God is good and He loves us and He loves through us!!

  11. Teri Miller

    I totally agree, but man, it is HARD WORK. My husband and I both work full time, have an 8-yr old, and lead a large ministry at our church (which many other churches have pastors lead, but we do it as volunteers on top of our outside careers). It is hard to balance and we find times when we are so busy it is like we are business associates. When we see that, we need to get right back on track and refocus on ourselves. I am thankful that I have women who understand who hold me accountable in this area!

  12. Meredith Dunn

    We have truly learned in 24 years of ministry to always keep our marriage and family priority over our ministry. We are 7 years into a church plant that is growing and being blessed by God and my husband, since the beginning, has said in many of his messages that his wife and 3 kids will always take priority over the church, ministry, events etc. Our people love it and every year when we have our marriage conference so many couples are there because they want to “have a marriage like yours that stands the test of time”. The ministry doesn’t get robbed because of our decision it is blessed!! It took us several years to learn this and get it down but it has been so worth it!

  13. Debbie Vigil

    Today is my huband’s 1st day as a Youth Pastor at our church, and 2st day as a Pastor, ever! This is such an exciting time. I can’t wait to see how God uses him and our family, for His glory. I’ve been praying about what my role will look like. I’ve started to seek out wise counsel from other Pastors’ Wives and THIS has been the overall sentiment. Just be a support to him 🙂

  14. Robin

    I agree! You cannot be effective in helping others if you are not healthy yourself. It takes a lot of effort at times but it will always be worth it!

  15. Lauren Douglas

    I totally agree! Not only is it great for your marriage but great for your ministry too! My husband and I have had 2 “late night” chats lately that have been so good for our marriage and they have helped to give us vision/ put us on the same page ministry wise. Thanks for the reminder!

  16. Annette Price

    First off, thank you for heeding God’s call on your life as Pastor’s wives and in starting this wonderful ministry!! You have blessed me and so many other women. I was truly blessed at last year’s women’s conference in San Diego too!

    As a mom of 3 young boys with not a lot of resources to travel, I cannot afford to go to conferences so this was a huge blessing!!! Thank you ladies!!

    I have to say the reference yesterday about Martha and Mary – and how we need to sit before we do!! She mentioned Matthew 6:33 Seek first the kingdom of God….and these things will be added to you. When we seek Him first, our priorities are inline with His Word. God first, Husband and children next, followed by ministering to those God has purposely surrounded us with (our church family, our neighbors, grocery clerks, coffee baristas) next, etc.

    The quote above reminds me that a gift we can give our children (our family) is having a thriving marriage and a gift we can give to our church (our family) is to show them a picture of Christ and the Church. That is the purpose of marriage!!

    Also, thank you for the reminder yesterday on Ephesians 4:1 WALK WORTHY of god’s calling on your life – He knew we could handle everything that is thrown our way.

    Church planting is the hardest thing we’ve been called to do….we need to thrive in our marriage in order to effectively minister to those God has placed in our home, in our church family, in our neighborhood, etc. I think a consistent date night is in order….I’m going to get on that right away!!

  17. Sherry Orr

    I came from divorced parents and had no idea what a healthy marriage looked like. My Pastor and his wife showed me what it was about. How else are people going to see a healthy Godly marriage if not through us? We owe it to ourselves, our kids and our church to thrive and be the best we can be. We are to be a light unto the world and that includes how to model a healthy relationship. 🙂

  18. Mitzi

    I always tell people that church work is a lot like house work … it’s just never done. We’ve been in the ministry for 35 years now and still love it. There is nothing I’d rather be doing. I think the key to our marriage and our ministry is not letting those first loves die and keeping each other balanced.


    oh i love this – last night our young adults housegroup were talking about people that are living it out and living the life they want to live… they said our senior pastor, who goes hard after God but also loves his family so evidently – giving us and them a wonderful example.

    And it makes sense – a family in order and in love are walking by all those things that make a great leader. and a healthy person. and a healthy person makes a healthy leader.

  20. Leah

    Sometimes it just totally amazes and surprises me that people are looking at me and my marriage! Although far from perfect we strive daily to love God and love each other. We never hesitate to tell couples that although they see all our love in church for each other, times definitely do get tough. We have to choose daily to love each other!
    Thanks for a great reminder!

  21. Brenda Gaddy

    This is true. It only takes one moment of anger towards each other for to affect your kids and how they start to act.

    Just like your kids pick up on my your moods so does the church.

    I want to have a great marriage and church. Working towards this very day and living in the moment. Forgiving and not holding on to anger.

  22. Antwanette

    This post is so accurate and so important! We set the foundation for the type of husband and wife our children will be. We also set the foundation for the type of spouse they will look for. The seeds that we sow about marriage in front of our family will be reaped in our childrens lives. We, the Pastor and Wife, should be a model of what a loving and healthy God ordained marriage is. Our members look to us for guidance in all areas of life, especially family! If our marriage is happy and thriving it makes the frustrations of leading a little easier to bear.

  23. Courtney Misener

    Truth. I think the best thing we can do for OURSELVES is to have a happy and thriving marriage. When we are happy and loving life our family and church family will feel the love 🙂

    My husband and I are desperately trying not to ruin three beautiful boys and I check our behavior often because I know that what I am giving those sweet boys as a model of marriage they will then take into their own marriages. I want their future wives to be loved, comforted, trusted, allowed to fail and allowed to succeed. And I want those wives to respect and honor my sons even when the world tells them differently. That they would always be the super hero of their families.

    Big expectations I know- but that’s what we work towards. I know Josh and I hold it together for the five of us. And we will continue to fight for the family unit to be their foundation while serving an amazing God. It’s a crazy ride. That’s why I’m all in!

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom and goodness with us through this book. 🙂

  24. Hillary

    Although I am not married, I personally know how important it is to have a health marriage when in leadership. Not having an example of what a marriage, let alone a health one, would look like, my pastors became the example. They are the ones who have taught me about marriage but more importantly showed me within their own.

    I believe that marriage can be one of the most beautiful ways to show the church how God loves us. When a marriage is healthy it can be such a beautiful picture of our relationship with the Father.

  25. Amy Krance-Wendt

    Oh, so true, so true! And to take it one step further: “The best thing you can do for society is have a happy, thriving marriage!” Being that light, that example, is so incredibly humbling, yet rewarding when it brings people to recognize God’s grace and glory in our lives.

  26. Beckie

    My husband and I were called to ministry together. Our marriage/partnership/friendship came before the calling. I’m so thankful that we had time to be together for a (short) time before we dove into ministry.
    Serving with my husband has grown us in so many ways – thankfully most of the growth was for the better. When I look back I can see how God has shaped is as individuals and as a couple.
    I can say the same things about having children and becoming a family. Oh, the growth!
    I am thankful that someone taught us early on that God is #1 over all our life and that we need to structure our priorities the way He has intended – 1) marriage; 2) family/children; 3)job/ministry; 4) other
    When these things are out of order (especially when God is not in all of these things) there is a definite unease in our home and in each individual.
    God has ordained things for His purpose and glory. We are simply to obey

  27. Tara

    What a great reminder. To often we are so focused on everyone else that we have little left to offer our husband. Yet, as we exit the vehicle on our way into church we plaster on a smile and “act” like everything is great. I’m tired of hoping everyone will think we are “perfect.” I am blessed with an amazing husband and thankfully we usually get along very well. However, that doesn’t mean we are without struggle. I’m thankful for this reminder that my marriage deserves work. At the end of the day, my husband is the one who is still standing by me, not the church.

  28. Marni Arnold

    This speaks volumes to me, for being married going on 14 years next month (together for 16 years), we have gone through a gambit of ups and downs. We encountered most of our greatest struggles when we both weren’t walking with God (the first 4 years of our marriage, first 6 years together), but there have been struggles even in the midst of our walk with God going on nearly 10 years. Through it all though, we have found that our greatest struggles have become our greatest victories. We stick through the tough, because not only does this solidify us as the team God created us to be (with Him as our glue), but He is in turn able to use us as an example for others who will encounter struggles in their marriages as well.

    Thriving in marriage isn’t just for the two people involved, it is for everyone in the community and beyond. For where our relationships are forged with our spouses stronger in Christ, going through the fires of pains and struggles, He has the ultimate ability to cut through any pain in other’s lives that we come in contact with and prompt healing in their lives as well.

    It’s awesome…I love how our Father works. He isn’t a “save just a few” kind of God…He is a “save everyone” kind of God.

  29. Lynn Corbaley

    So true and it all depends on choice of spouse and the choices you make in your life and relationship with God.

    Life and marriage are hard. People need to seriously commit to following God, trusting Him and obeying His word if they want to make it.

    My hubby and I took vows before God and each other. We also chose to NEVER threaten each other with or consider divorce unless the other broke those vows. To never consider it as an option for any other reason except those allowed by scripture. It makes marriage a lot easier when you truly commit to not tempt yourself with an out every time the going gets tough.

    We hold hands and stick together when times get tough. We are family, in Heaven and on Earth.

  30. Amy

    My husband and I made the commitment to a Christ centered marriage and it was for us, for Him and for my step sons. What an example and model it is for children to see how husbands and wives should interact, love and respect one another. A happy thriving couple at church is a model to believers and non believers alike. Teens and young twenty’s are drawn to “happy, healthy” couples. People are watching! I am so blessed to be in a happy, thriving marriage. God is good!

  31. Tyra Laughlin

    We as Christians must invest in our marriages and not allow the mundane, the busyness of life/ministry, or offense separate us or steal our joy and harmony!

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