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Leading and Loving It

After the Wedding Wednesday … Is the Grass Greener?

We plan for months. We navigate a million little details. We scour town for the perfect dress. We surround ourselves with friends, family, and dozens of flowers. And our weddings are magical.

But what happens when seven years later, you look across the kitchen table and wonder what in the world happened to that magic? Maybe you look at a husband whom you haven’t seen in months. Maybe you feel like he’s married to the church. Maybe you are longing for love and attention and starting to look in the wrong places. Maybe he is.

Yes, this obviously happens to people in ministry too.

Marriages of couples in ministry struggle. They hurt. They are haunted by infidelity.

That is why we are partnering with our amazing friends to help those women who marriages are hurting or broken. You can meet each of these ladies and read their stories here. For the next 6 weeks, we are going to share this “After the Wedding Wednesday” series. And I know that whether your marriage is flying high or crawling through a valley, you will be encouraged by what these ladies have to share.

Today, we get to hear from the lovely, Cindy Beall

I’ve rented two movies over the last week or so. We were fairly disappointed because both of them included infidelity. And it’s not just because we hate infidelity (which we do) and hate how it hurts the heart of God (which it does) and hate how it ruins marriages (which it has). We hate how it is glamorized by film makers.

Very sad.

I’ve always been disturbed when I hear someone say about his/her spouse, “I’m just not in love anymore.” Since when is marriage always a feel good thing? Ask anyone who has been married if they live in a fairy tale world where they always feel in love. Feelings are so incredibly misleading.

You know what I think? (This is where you say, “yes”.) I think that we are in love with what we pour into and what we concentrate on and what we create. If you start to pay attention to the next looker who walks by, you’ll be doing that for the rest of your life. Hear me...There will always be good lookin’ people around you. Period. Get used to it and walk away. If you wanna be in love with your spouse, pour into him, concentrate on her and create new memories and habits that will bring joy for years to come.

Moral of the story? If you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side, don’t move. Just water your own yard.

I’m just sayin’.

Tiffany Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 10:10 am

YES. Love this. And absolutely true.

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Eleana Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 10:16 am

love this!!!

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Brandi Wilson Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 10:22 am

well said, cindy! always love reading your wisdom.

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Cindy Beall Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 10:25 am

Thanks, ladies! Always glad to post here at L&LI.

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Connie Beesley Reply:
 June 7th, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Cindy how can I get in touch with you. I truly need your help. We are on fb as Ed Connie Beesley.

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Lori Wilhite Reply:
 June 8th, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Hey Connie. You can see the link to Cindy’s contact info when you click on the “Hurting Marriages” page at the top of the site. Hope that helps.

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Jaclyn Turner Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 10:37 am

Great post!

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Rochelle Palmer Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 11:23 am

Excellent- a great reminder that we are not called to happiness but to faithfulness! Since Armed and Dangerous I have been reading Cindy’s blog and am looking forward to reading her book!

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Rhonda Sisson Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 11:23 am

Very true! I praise God for His forgiveness, grace and mercies. After 21 years of marriage, I would do it again! God has taught me true forgiveness.
Thank you for sharing your story.

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Melissa Elswick Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Great encouragement Cyndi!

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Kerri Weems Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Love this post Cindy! Stovall just talked about this on Sunday in our series, Fam vs Wild. We are so enamored with falling in love that it’s easy to forget that it’s STAYING in love that’s to goal! Looking forward to your book.

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Rachel Reply:
 June 1st, 2011 at 6:28 pm

great post!

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Kendra Reply:
 June 2nd, 2011 at 7:13 am

Good word!

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Jenni Clayville Reply:
 June 3rd, 2011 at 10:57 pm

you’re alright, cindy. you’re alright

love you oodles.

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Abbie Reply:
 June 19th, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Thanks for sharing.

Your last comment about watering our own yards made me think of that place in proverbs(?) where it says to drink deeply of our own well – as in, delight in our spouse, if we are not satisfied, drink more deeply!

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Leading and Loving It Reply:
 July 5th, 2011 at 9:46 pm

[...] Series. If you didn’t see the other posts in this series, make sure to check them out: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5. But, don’t worry … we will continue hearing from these [...]

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