After The Wedding Wednesday… A Close Call
Posted by Jenni Clayville
I receive emails every week from other people experiencing the pain of infidelity.
Often, they are emails expressing relief of now knowing they’re not alone in their journey. Sometimes, a spouse has just found out about an affair. Sometimes, the unfaithful is looking for advice on how to confess. And sometimes, someone just wants prayer because their spouse doesn’t want to make it work.
Each person that writes to us ends up getting their name hand-scribbled into my journal so I remember to pray over them. This is my privilege. This is the reminder of WHY I shared my story publicly. This is what keeps me humble.
But rarely, do I receive “close-call” emails.
I received this one from “Eve” a few months ago. I’ve received permission to share her letter as long as I kept her anonymous, so “Eve” she will be for now:
I have to confess I have been reading your website for a couple years now and have always meant to send you an email but haven’t. I wanted to say that the courage in your story and the raw emotion that you have shown along with your commitment to be closer to your husband and God is awe inspiring and has really assisted me in putting things in perspective for myself. I am married now but this is my first marriage and the second for my husband.
About 6 months ago I could see myself distancing, and we were starting to become “glorified roommates”. It was one day I came home from work and a male coworker had asked me if I wanted to grab lunch the next day that I got to thinking. I was giddy, excited, and felt “special”. But when I really started to think about it I asked myself why was SOME OTHER man besides my husband making me feel like this?
I read your blog one more time and I snapped out of it. Not only was going to lunch with him very inappropriate but it was asking for disaster. I knew he had a supposed crush on me and I was walking into the fire.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the courage, grace and love in your heart for others to be able to come forward and share your story so unabashedly and wholly. I know that sharing your story had to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done but please know that you are changing lives by eliminating the shame and stigma of the subject. We are all after all human and as such will fall down but it’s not how you fall down but how you pick yourself back up that counts.
I’m happy to say I sought counseling, turned things around and my husband is now in Afghanistan on deployment with the Army. We are happily planning our “real wedding” as we only had a courthouse wedding in the first place.
I guess I just wanted to say, the truth is life changing. And you assisted me in seeing that.
My heart to yours,
This is why I shared my story. And this is why I’ll keep an open dialogue about infidelity till I die. Because sometimes, a marriage can experience a “close-call” instead of devastation. You don’t have to have experiences a moral failure to share your story. You just have to share it.
So… here’s my challenge to you:
SHARE YOUR STORY!
The good, the bad and the ugly.
You never know what it can do for someone else.