The Church Planting Wife’s Prayer …

We are so excited to be joined today by church planting wife, Christine Hoover, author of The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart. If you are interested in planting, feeling called to plant, are in the process of planting, or have already launched a church plant, this book will be so encouraging to you in your journey. Along with Christine’s own poignant words, she’s included interviews with other church planting wives, including our own Brandi Wilson. You can click here to grab The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart for yourself.

Guest post by Christine Hoover

Lord, you have called me to be a church planting wife. The task before us is great and at times overwhelming, but I know this work is worth it—You are worth it— and I trust You will somehow use us in our city.

Lord, I want to do this well, but I don’t know how to be a good church planting wife. I find myself wanting a task list or trying to play the role I think I’m supposed to play. I know, however, that more than anything else, You want my heart. Help me to keep a soft heart before You and to joyfully embrace this calling.

Let me know Your voice, Father, so that as You lead, I can follow. Where You ask me to sow, I will sow, and then I will trust You to bring fruit from those seeds as You see fit. You are the Grower. You are the Vine. My job as a church planting wife is simply to depend on You.

Lord, help me to help my husband, not hinder his work. Root out resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, or anything else that turns my heart away from him, from our together calling, and, as a result, from You.

Father, I crave friendship just as much as the women we serve but sometimes I feel alone. You are a good gift-giver. I ask that as I initiate relationships, You would give me the gift of friendship. When I try to blame church planting or use ministry as an excuse to isolate myself, stop me. Give me courage to lay down my title as the pastor’s wife and reveal myself to safe women, and not just reveal myself but depend on others and share my needs with them.

Church planting is really hard and, Father, You know that sometimes I fight against the sacrifice that is required of me. If I’m honest, there are times that I want this whole thing to be about me and my own comfort. Oh Lord! Crucify my selfishness; I believe dying to myself results in the full, abundant Christ-life, but I need You to move me there every single day.

Lord, the fear and stress threaten to overtake me. There is so much uncertainty. Create a Joshua heart in me, one that is strong and courageous because You are with me and because Your promises are true.

Finally, Lord, help my eyes remain on You. May my validation and the power for my ministry come only from You, not from any standards I place on myself or any I think others place on me. Help me not to love accomplishments, results, or pats on the back. Help me to love people well, but to love Your pleasure alone.

Today we are giving away 5 copies of Christine’s Book, The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart. Just leave us a comment telling us what bit of hope your heart needs the most.

Congratulations to Beth, Bryn Stauffer, Sarah Joy, Rebecca, & Tracey O. You’ve been randomly selected to win this book. You will be contacted by email.

47 thoughts on “The Church Planting Wife’s Prayer …

  1. Nicole Lovato

    My husband has been talking about eventually planting a church for the last few years. I would love to read this book as I’m not really on the same page as him yet and would like to read this so I can at the very least make an effort towards bringing my heart to the right place. Perhaps this book will help me to get a good idea what it would be like to be the wife of a church planter. 🙂

  2. Kristi Schaffner

    My husband and I planted a church in the middle of the city. This has been a tremendous challenge but we love it. Since church plant people are so transitory, my heart needs the hope that God will continue to bring beautiful people around us, especially when such tremendous Godly friends move away.

  3. Whitney Lynch

    The hope I need the most is found in that last paragraph. I want my validation to come from Him alone & not by others or ridiculous standards I place on myself. I hope for a heart set on Him & not the expectations of others.

  4. Jenna

    As a young woman who desires to be in full time ministry, it helps so much to read articles and books by women who are already there! It remiss me of the hope in Christ that I have and that is all I need.

  5. Kimberly Wood

    My husband and I are in the pre planning stages of planting a church. Not gonna lie, I currently have more fears than excitement about this new journey. I know this is what we are called to do, my heart knows God is in it all the way, it’s just convincing my head that likes to have every detail mapped out. Our plan has us launching in the fall of 2014.

  6. Libby Nieves

    We are two years into our church plant in Florida. I really stuggle with the uncertainty that we face. Right now i have felt very stressed as we face the possibility of moving the church location – again. I stress out/worry about the impact this will have on the great group of people we are with. I know God is in charge of the changes…but i still feel emotionally drained as i feel the weight of this situation. My hope is that i can have a strong and courageous heart because God’s promises are true!

  7. Kelly Matlock

    My husband and I along with a team of incredible people are in the process of planting a church in San Marcos, TX. We moved here in July and are launching services this September. As I read the church planting wife’s prayer, I felt the tears coming as I resonated with every word of it. This is by far the hardest mission we have ever taken on, but every second is worth it. The hope my heart needs the most is in regards to my 7 year old daughter. She has had a really rough time with the transition. Moving thousands of miles away from her friends, starting a new school and being thrown into the church planters world has been difficult for her, to say the least. I need to cling to the hope that not only has God called my husband and I here, but our children as well and that He is holding them and wants the absolute best for each of them.

  8. Wendy

    I think my heart needs to hear that it is okay for people not to like me and that I need to full of grace.

  9. Amy Middleton

    I’m in the middle of church planting… The hope my heart needs has to do with loneliness. I’m amazed at the degree it is in church planting. I knew it was going to happen, as there is loneliness in any leadership position. We parachute planted in South Florida (meaning, moved here to start a church without knowing anyone). I would love to hear encouragement from experienced church planting wives on how to flourish in friendships and navigating through building community from scratch. And Amen to many of the comments above 🙂

  10. Jessi

    While I am not a church planter’s wife, our church has a daughter church & is equipping more leaders to plant other churches in our community. This would be a great encouragement to our daughter church’s PW & our future CPWs.

  11. Meghan DeHart

    Loved the last part which goes with the conference last night and only pleasing God, not others. This has been a huge lesson for my husband and me, and we continue to need to remind ourselves of this.

  12. Jessi

    Do you know Melissa Elswick? Her and her husband are church planters of Crossway Church in the Pembroke Pines area. I was in her L&LI virtual community group last year, and she’s such an encouragement. She would be a great person to talk to about navigating the church planting world.

  13. Robin Richardson

    My husband and I have been church planters for about 4 years in Denver, CO. Recently, we’ve had some very key people and close friends leave, which has been difficult in so many ways. The hope I need most is that I often fight against the sacrifice of what is needed to be in this ministry. I love the part about “crucify my selfishness”. I resonates most with me.

  14. Tracey O

    The hope to be strong and courageous because He is with me and because His promises are true and not let fear and stress overtake me.

  15. Mary

    We want to plant a church in a huge city in the Midwest- we are living in the south but our hearts and family are back there! The bit of hope I need is that we are capable of doing it and that we would be able to survive the push back with taking a whole new kind of church (having a relationship with Jesus) to a very religious city!

  16. Netta

    Over 8 yrs ago we planted the first of two campuses in Detroit. I relate most to the part of the prayer about craving friendships.
    Thanks so much!
    Hugs to all of you who contribute to this blog/ministry!

  17. Heather

    I am a pastors wife of an established church, and am blessed to have a number of dear friends who are church plant pastors wives. These women give their heart and soul and take a huge risk for the sake of the kingdom. I have shared in their joys and their heart aches. Their treasure in heaven is truly great! I would love to bless one of them with this book.

  18. Holly Kidle

    My husband and I are 6 weeks out from our soft launch- I am building the children’s ministry as he is building the church. It is quite overwhelming and exciting all at once. God has been so faithful but some days I do not know whether I should cry, scream, smile or run away! I am deeply struggling to figure out how to be a wife, mom, church planter’s wife, children’s director, cleaning lady, cook, and everything else that demands my time. I rely so heavily on resources such as leading and loving it- the daily emails, the JustOne conference, and any book I can get my hands on and the prayers of those around me. Thank you for all you do- I am so excited to get my hands on this book one way or another- but free is always better when you are on a church planter’s budget : )

  19. Brandi


    We are on our second plant – this time as a parachute plant as well and the best way we have found to build true community is food! In the beginning – very meeting, service, event we have some type of eat out, potluck, even if with just a few people.

  20. Shelly Spickler

    Where were you 20 years ago when my husband and I worked on 5 church planting projects? We’ve now been at our current church plant for 14 years and are committed to the long haul here in Winnebago, IL, unless God moves us. What hope do I need for my heart? Three things: hope that the dreams and goals God has placed in our hearts come to pass in this ministry, hope that God will raise up workers who will partner with us to plant more church campuses in our area, and hope that what I call the “swiss-cheese” hurts and resentments of ministry, where the enemy’s fiery darts got through the armor, would be healed.

  21. Tanya McKinley

    I would LOVE to read this book!! We have been asked to join a church planting team in Estonia. We are planning on going the end of this summer providing all the monthly support comes in. We will be planting in the capitol city of Tallinn. This will be a change for me as we have usually lived ‘out in the country’. Excited to live out this dream God has called us to! 🙂

  22. Heather

    I am finishing my counseling degree and planning to go overseas to Japan and help with church planting and counseling. The hope of my heart is for a grounded-ness so I do not sway too easily in the midst of this place, and I want to help keep other women strong and help families stay strong in the difficult field of Japan. I want false lies to be exposed and truth, humility, and love to prosper.

  23. Jen

    I am an Assistant Pastor’s wife and, let’s just say our church is not the most organized church. So, that can be a little frustrating for me. I see larger churches that look like they “have it all together” and my heart can sink just a little bit. I know deep down that “all that glitters is not gold” but I just pray that God can strengthen my heart. Thank you.

  24. Beth

    My hope is that I find where I fit in the big picture. I’m pulling out of anything for a year to reevaluate where I am. It’s hard not to jump back in but I’m determined!

  25. christa johnson

    We are not new to church planting, but I feel like there is always an obstacle to overcome. We live in Chicago and we are constantly faced with busy schedules. I also find that having mentors is hard to find and would enjoy hearing from another pastors wife on how she is working to overcome the obstacles. I also have a desire to mentor other church planting wives and could use this book as a resource. Thanks!!!

    4914 north winchester ave unit 1
    Chicago, IL 60640

  26. Kristen

    “Crucify my selfishness” stands out to me. We are almost at our one year launch anniversary and it’s so easy to forget that all of this is not about me. My word of the year for 2013 is selfless and I’ve been really convicted of my selfishness… And it’s only February!

  27. Sheila

    We are two years into our church plant and things have gone pretty well. We are just crazy busy and seem to be doing a LOT of marriage counseling with other couples, which tends to be draining on our on marriage at times!

  28. Erica

    My husband and I are 2 months into a church planting internship and one month away from moving to our launch city. I feel I need hope that God will provide the people and resources we need to do the work he’s called us to. He already has went out of his way to do this, but there is so much unknown sometimes I feel afraid.

  29. LuAnn

    My husband and I have been doing youth ministry for almost 15 yrs and we are feeling called to church planting. My hope and prayer is to follow where God leads. I want to hear his voice and love with his heart.

  30. Clarissa

    We are in the process of RE-launching a church that has been around for 150 years. It has proved to be much more challenging than the church plant we were at before. It can be very discouraging and we are working with a lot of difficult elements. We could really use some hope and encouragement!

  31. Rebecca

    “Lord, the fear and stress threaten to overtake me. There is so much uncertainty. Create a Joshua heart in me, one that is strong and courageous because You are with me and because Your promises are true.”

    I think I will find myself praying these exact words over and over. We are 4 months into our church plant in Jacksonville, FL. Very excited to see all God will do. Just today, as I was facing a million decisions and answering emails, I prayed thanking God that is the firm foundation on which I stand. Nothing will shake me. He never fails.

  32. Lisa

    We just announced to our church this week that we are leaving to answer the call to plant a church. I’m beyond excited and scared to death at the same time. But my seatbelt is on and I’m ready for the ride.

  33. Rebecca

    I am in my first year of being a pastor’s wife, and we are trying to revitalize/relaunch a church in a new denomination. It has been quite an experience – lots blessings and disappointments, and I find myself needing encouragement and perspective. Have two kids under 5 only adds to the challenge. Help!

  34. Lisa

    My husband and I planted a church 3.5 years ago. Thank you for writing a book that will help church planter’s wives. This book looks very good! My hopes are many: that we will not labor in vain, but continue to make a difference for the Kingdom of God and not burn out in the process. I also hope to have Joshua’s heart, one that is strong and courageous through every circumstance that comes our way.

  35. Sandy

    Church planting could possibly be in our future, and quite honestly, it scares me to death!!! This book would be awesome and hopefully a help in lessening my fears! 🙂

  36. Tiffany_Rucker

    We planted in October 2012, and it has been by far the hardest thing I’ve ever been a part of. I hope that as time goes on, and more people are on board that our loads will lighten and return to some sort of normalcy. It is very hard to put away self sufficiency and depend on God for EVERYTHING, but that is definitely what He has taught us in this past year.

  37. Danielle freed

    We just celebrated our second year of our church plant on Sunday. It’s so strange how God can be blessing your ministry, but at home I feel isolated and lonely, but there are so many people who I know love and care about us. Looking for encouragement and empowerment!

  38. Bryn Stauffer

    The hope that my heart most needs, is God’s constant reassurance that I will GROW! Grow into this role I feel so ridiculously underprepared and inadequate for… Grow into the wife and mother and woman and Church leader He would have me be.

  39. Lisa Boyd

    I think at my stage (4 months in) the hope I need is that there are others going through the same emotions as me. I also hope to see some of the successes on the the other side. I can’t wait to get this book!

  40. Carol Graft

    Wow. It sounds like an OK incredible read. While at the moment I am not part of a church planting. There is this little nudging every once in awhile that leads me to believe that someday… Or we will be helping someone. All of the points/prayers already stated above fit. Praying balance, no resentment of the time spent. Wisdom to know fully God’s heart. So much….
    Thanks for offering this giveaway.

  41. Rhonda

    When I first read this, I immediately thought of the church as the fellowship through Christ that we share with one another as Christians. I thought of church planting as a spiritual place of fellowship with all the blessings and trials and joy that we share with one another. Not as a physical space. I am not involved in a physical church planting but would love to read this book and apply some lessons on how to better ground myself in christ in fellowship with others as they live their vocation.

  42. Barbara Stroud

    Hope is so powerful. I think this book sounds very exciting. I am only very early in the journey of planting a church – from God whispering to my husband and his best friend to comletely change careers and go on a grand adventure. I’m so glad someone wrote a book about this!

  43. Sarah Joy

    We are three weeks away from Opening meetings and then the first Sunday service. My we have three children under 5 years old, and my husband still works a secular job 45+ hours a week. I struggle with the knowledge that its okay that we don’t have the perfect family, perfect kids, and perfectly kept house. I am learning, but still scared. I would love to read the experiences of other church planting wives and hear how God has used them.

  44. Ashley Bowman

    First of all, I am just so excited to learn that a book like this exists! We are 1.5 years into church planting, and we have experienced the most intense highs and the most intense lows of our life. Currently, the one thing my heart desires the most is encouragers. I know my desire should be to please God and not people. Working on the people pleasing part.=) But, it is still a daily struggle. I love to encourage others, but to be honest could use some encouragers myself.

  45. Christy Williams

    I am a church planters wife going on four years. I could use hope to keep being faithful and to believe that God can change the marriages and messy lives of the people God has brought to our church.

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