Confessions …
Last week I wrote a little note to “I’m a bad pastor’s wife.”
That day I got this excellent tweet in response:
Maybe “I’m a Bad Pastor’s Wife needs to hear some real confessions from other PWs. I’ll go first. Sometimes I check football scores during church
I thought that was a great idea … and a great confession. And since Jenn agreed to let me blog about it, here we go.
Confession 1: I don’t cook. I avoid it when at all possible. If I have to bring something to a potluck, I purchase. If I’m having guests over, I’m the queen of take-out.
Confession 2: I read vampire books, and I like them.
Your turn. What expectation do you turn on its head? What do you do that is seemingly out of the pastor’s wife norm? Don’t be shy. Share away. I’ll share some more later too.
120 Responses to “Confessions …”
Love this. I’m sending Clutch readers over to this today….while I think about what I can confess that won’t get me in trouble. 
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I have a cleaner come and clean my house twice a month and it’s still messy! Toys everywhere and laundry piled high!
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okay, your vampire confession made my day!!!!
i have to think about my confession, but i’ll be back!
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Sometimes I avoid the lobby because it makes me nervous.
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Sometimes at women’s ministry conferences that I attend alone, I purposely don’t tell the person next to me that I’m a PW. It’s just nice sometimes to be “me” and not “the wife.”
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I avoid the nursery wing of our church!!! I am afraid i will HAVE to jump in and work if there is a shortage
I don’t eat at potlucks because i don’t trust anyone else’s cooking or for a matter of fact what there home looks like. Can’t stand the fact that there might have been a dog or cat on the counter while they were cooking! blah!
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I am shy! I would most often like to sit all by myself and not interact with others. Which is nearly impossible. So I have to force myself to say hi to people! LOL!
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Feel free to post anonymously if you would like. I had to think long and hard about what I could share too dpm and Brandi. So many to choose from.
I change my hair and its color every 5 weeks partially out of boredom and partially to try to stay a little inconspicuous.
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Love this! I’m with you on the no-cooking thing. Sometimes I am THRILLED when my kids get sick, since I “have” to stay home and miss church or life group. That’s not just a bad pastor’s wife–that’s a bad mom!
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I always introduce myself as “Brandi” rather than use my last name and being “Brandi Wilson” (which would automatically attach me to my husband). I’m proud to be his wife, but I also like people to get their first impression of “ME” rather than Pete’s wife.
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October 20th, 2009 at 9:05 amI’m terrible at small talk. So, I usually avoid meeting new people so I don’t have to awkwardly stand there thinking of something to talk about.
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May 19th, 2011 at 10:49 amoh me too. I am the worst and I usually tell people that right off when I do venture out which probably proves it.
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1. I don’t like to cook. I say I have the partial gift of hospitality. You can come to my home, have a great time, but I can’t promise a home cooked meal.
2. I love Harry Potter
3. I can get real grouchy.
4. My hubs is a children’s pastor and the gift doesn’t flow to me.
5. I like wine.
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May 19th, 2011 at 10:52 amwith you on the Harry Potter. kinda fun when someone is sitting there talking about how evil it is and I tell them I love them.
also, I loathe when my husband asks me to fill in for a children’s class under middle school level. I’ll do it but its very begrudgingly and he knows it. LOL hopefully the kids don’t notice though.
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I watch YOung and the Restless…have for years….:)
The “Sr. Saints” in our church drive me crazy…I avoid them…
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October 20th, 2009 at 10:05 am1. My hubby is a youth pastor and I’m terrified of jr & sr high kids, particularly the girls.
2. I don’t like people to be in my home (except my family..lol) My house seems to be in a constant state of chaos (rooms a mess, laundry everywhere), especially when Mike is gone (he’s in Thailand right now for 3 wks).
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Cook? What’s that? They have a running joke at church…they ask me what I cooked for dinner. And I look at Marc and ask him…where are we eating today? LOL
I am a soap opera junkie, and I I read romance novels. I’m sure somebody considers all of that a sin in some form or another.
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1. I like to watch action packed movies complete with killing and blood spurting everywhere. Even if they are rated R. *gasp*
2. Almost every other day, er, I mean occasionally, I say a cuss word. Only when I get passionate. Just ask @nataliewitcher.
3. I wouldn’t mind a tummy tuck or a boob job. Things have gone south, ifyouknowwhatimean. Just sayin’.
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Y’all are cracking me up. This is one of my all time favorite discussions.
I haven’t worn a dress or skirt to church in years and have no plans to do so anytime soon.
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May 19th, 2011 at 10:57 amhaha me either. I do it on purpose. Jeans and tshirts. 1. I have a 7 mo old… a dress matters little if its covered in spit up and drool. 2. I want everyone to feel comfortable. 2. & yeah, its a little bit of a “not rolling the Hillary Clinton Pant suit” or some other horrid uncomfortableness just I is da holy reverend mrs. My husband wears jeans now too
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Me too! Great to hear I’m not the only one…I love my pants, and even jeans as many times as I can get away with. And I’m the worship leader…ha.
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November 9th, 2011 at 2:20 pmI haven’t wore a dress in forever! I feel more comfortable in pants! My husband is the Senior Minister at our congregation and sometimes I feel like I should wear a dress, but hey, it’s just not me!!!! I also like running in the Marine Corp annual mud run!!!! Yep, I’m a ministers wife!
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I LOVE any of the “Real Housewives” shows on Bravo-so trashy but so good!
I cuss at least once a day. (yikes)
My husband is a worship leader at our church-it drives me CRAZY when he brings home is guitar and plays it!
G
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May 26th, 2011 at 11:17 amI totally watch the Real Housewives on Bravo too…lol Thought I’d be the only one!
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I go to another church’s Bible study so I can be myself and say the wrong answers at times, and not feel like I am under a microscope with other ladies from my church. I often wait until service has already started to go in and sit down, so I can sit by myself if Eric is preaching, I introduce myself as Kate, and never say, Eric is my husband, I don’t have the Bible memorized, despite what others may think, and I am not afraid to drop a sarcastic comment here or there either. Man, that felt good! Thanks Lori!
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October 20th, 2009 at 11:43 amThis is so awesome! Lori, yours about the vampire books cracked me up! My second confession, I read and loved the Harry Potter series! My 9 yr old came home from Kidspace one Sunday and said her leader said Harry Potter is bad and Christians shouldn’t read it(I’m pretty sure my daughter outed me)so there is probably at LEAST one person at my church that would call me a bad pastors wife!:). But I think I will embrace it!
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Not a pastor’s wife…….but love being in ministry and I totally want to play along!
1. I yell at my kids more often than I should.
2. I love 80s rock like Whitesnake and Scorpions.
3. A good sour apple martini can turn any day around.
4. I saved the very worse offense for last…….I DETEST scrapbooking.
There, I feel so much better now!
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I don’t own a dress- not a single one. And only two skirts (which is seldom wear)
I usually wish I could hand out breath mints to people or better
yet… toothbrushes & toothpaste!
I secretly wish I could interrupt people and tell them, “JUST GET TO THE POINT, ALREADY!”
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October 20th, 2009 at 1:36 pmI have been a Youth Minister’s wife, a college professor’s wife, and now I am a Minister’s wife, all with the same husband of 16 years. I am proud to say that I do not fit the mold, never have, never want to. I believe that God uses my uniqueness to reach non-Christians. Here are my confessions:
1. I, too, love Harry Potter. Good vs. evil, good wins, you can’t beat that!
2. I cuss,occasionally, I think it is funny.
3. I wish I loved alcohol, I think it would take the edge off.
4. I once attended a professor’s wives’ meeting and made up an astronomical story about the teacup I supposed to bring because I was bored after hearing 30 “dead grandma” stories. I convinced them all that I had gotten the cup after being in a Disneyworld parade. I did not tell them that I was lying, until a few weeks later, by then the entire campus had heard about it and believed it. My husband was mortified, I thought it was great sport!
Here’s to all of you out there who are breaking the mold, KUDOS! Danielle Gibson
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I would love to play along!
The vampire comment made me literally “LOL” – that is pure awesomeness!
I, too, love the trashy Real Housewives shows on Bravo! Just don’t be tardy for the party, k? 
I LOVE shimmer, sparkles, and glitz!! I always have on something sparkly (lotion, tops, jewelry, etc) and the gals on our church plant team tease me that they will never lose me b/c you can spot me a mile away! Hehe.
I have no problem saying NO. (Apparently there is this unspoken rule that we have to be everywhere at all times and attend every event, shower, meeting, service) I am no ones Savior…that would be Jesus…not me.
Deep breath in…out…ahhhh…that was nice!! And wouldn’t change my life for anything!
Thanks do letting me play along!
~ Melissa Elswick
http://www.crosswaychurch.net
http://www.elswickadoption.com
http://www.twitter.com/melissaelswick
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October 20th, 2009 at 3:51 pmI read this blog first thing this morning and only one comment was left. I was going to add my comment but decided I would wait to see what everyone else had to say first. Sad, I know, but I got scared.
I have watched “All My Children” for 30 years now. Watching a soap has such a bad connotation but honestly I’ve seen worse stuff on network TV during prime time viewing.
Once a year I connect with my inner teenage girl and get together with a bunch of girlfriends to see Rick Springfield in concert.
I do not like going into church service alone. If I can’t find a friend to sit with I have been known to spend the time in my husband’s office until church is over.
Whew … that’s enough for now.
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I dread the weekends because it’s so busy and stressful and my husband’s mind is somewhere else. I dread church and then feel guilty about resenting my role in all this.
I once got my PW friend a little bit past tipsy. At Seminary. She kept telling me that she doesn’t drink because wine doesn’t taste good…so I told her she wasn’t drinking the right stuff. I bought her some and she kept drinking and drinking and drinking. Oh boy. Feel bad for that one.
I tell my husband that he can get “real” job and do ministry on the weekends ’cause Paul did it. He was a tent maker.
I think most of my church members are borderline crazy. Church is a hospital where no one seems to be taking their meds.
I ignore friend requests from church members on Facebook ’cause I don’t want them all in my business.
Okay– I don’t feel better. I have issues. I need to go pray.
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August 18th, 2011 at 10:37 amWow…. for the first time, I feel “normal”!!!! What freedom!!
@ dpm…. LOL at the comment abt church members being crazy. We have a church with some members who make up whole cereal box… fruits, flakes & nuts!
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October 20th, 2009 at 5:58 pm[...] First Tweet 10 hours ago tiffharper143 TiffanyHarper Needed this! Pastor wives Check out @loriwilhite blog: http://leadingandlovingit.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/confessions/ #fb retweet [...]
@ dpm… your “I think most of my church members are borderline crazy. Church is a hospital where no one seems to be taking their meds” is my FAVORITE answer. sooo funny, but absolutely untrue!
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Well I am NOT a PW, I’m a worship pastor. So I feel some of that same pressure I think, maybe in different ways, but still pressure and weird expectations at times.
My favorite so far is : “Church is a hospital where no one seems to be taking their meds.”
That had me rolling. I’m going to borrow it, btw. It’s just too good not to use.
IF you care, my confessions are:
– I get tired of meeting new people and introducing myself. I cannot remember their names and I feel awkward. Since I can’t remember their names – or even if I’ve met them – I avoid new people sometimes.
– I also do not cook. I always cringe when I have to cook for someone who is ill, or has had a new baby. I’m not sure I’m doing them any favors.
– I sometimes just want to skip church entirely. For a few months.
– I wish people would quit asking me if I’m married to the pastor. Or a band member. The answer is NO!
Thanks ladies for making me laugh!!!
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October 20th, 2009 at 6:17 pmhello, I’m an assistant pastor’s wife and I:
* cannot play the piano, or any instrument for that matter
* cannot even read music, or sing on key
* am terrible at remembering names and therefore will completely avoid people rather than ask them again
* (back to the music theme) can’t remember lyrics to songs so I make them up, therefore sing some very heretical hymns (off key)
* hate sitting by myself in the pew
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I am too tired to come up with any confessions right now — but I think this is hilarious! Thanks for the laughs girls! And the comradery!
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October 20th, 2009 at 6:30 pm1. I like to wear slightly tight jeans with my very red heels.
2. I don’t eat at potlucks (same reason at rachael).
3. I also avoid the nursery because I don’t really like other people’s kids.
4. I go to the senior adult sunday school class because all the classes for my age group are filled with people who annoy me … (gosh I hope none of them read this!!)
5. I LOVE Twilight & everything that goes with it.
6. Women of Faith is not my favorite women’s conference. I appreciate what they do but I like conferences with more “meat” and less crying.
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My staff wives and I did the YMCA and the Thriller dance together. They are some pretty great dancers … and do a mean Macarena.
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@terilynne I’ve been known to wear a too tight jean as well! shame, shame!
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i tailgated my small group tonight. with a margarita.
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Okay here goes…
(1) I have a tattoo and got it since my husband became a pastor. (Ooohhhh!)
(2) Hate dresses and skirts too.
(3) LOVE heels with my jeans!
(4) Don’t follow a lot of the “norms” of parenting
(5) i heart wine and fruity drinks
(6) thinks that most women’s Bible studies are “fluffy” — full of a lot of words, with not deep ideas or principles. So I don’t do them.
Hmmm…I can think of more, but am thinking I’m making myself look bad if I have the longest list! These are too funny and true though!
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October 20th, 2009 at 6:52 pmI am not a pw, but I am a ministry leader – confessions:
1. i watch: Young and the Restless (have for about 18 years now), way too much reality TV, and rated R movies.
2. I am sarcastic, drink wine, and ocassionaly swear – even in church (that is I swear in church lol)
3. I rarely tell people I will pray for them because the reality is I will most likely forget about their request by the time I get home.
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I’m the worship “pastor” for want of a term…
* I suffer from C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome) My house is REVOLTING.
* I have apalling language
* I too adore Harry Potter, and it drives me INSANE that people talk about it as if it is the axis of all evil.
* My Sunday voice is exactly that… only on Sunday… and only at church.
* My husband and I have been known (amoungst the two of us) to be just about ready to rip each others throats out up until about 30 seconds before the service begins
* The congregation drive me CRAZY… I’ve never kown a buch of people who can stand rock solid still during upbeat songs like they can
* I LIKE my (too) large family. I HATE how I am made to feel like I should apologise for having (nearly) six children
*Contrary to popular belief, just because I have big boobs does not mean I will come on to your husband. Get over yourself (or me… whatever). Trust me when I say I do all I can to cover them while still trying to NOT look like I’m wearing a moomoo.
* I wish I had the guts to say all the mean things I think of to retaliate with when people are cruel, judgemental and snarky.
* I vaguely remember quiet time…
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1. I don’t like caring for other people’s kids either… which is odd for both a pastor’s wife AND a teacher.
2. I am NOT a compassionate person.
3. I am introverted. I really don’t care for being around people…. idle chitchat, trying to remember names… ugh.
4. I like the one mentioned above about “having” to stay at home when kids are sick. It’s nice to get a break sometimes… and get some work done.
5. I don’t like Women’s ministry events.
AND THE BIGGIE……..
6. I text in church and Sunday School. (gasp.)
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Love your comment about not being a compassionate person as well as being an introvert. Fits me too. In fact, one of my favorite sayings is, “Ministry would be great if it wasn’t for the people.”
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Wow… now reading everyone else’s… I could add about a milliion more.
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Holly, are you my twin??? Only thing different, no Sunday School here.
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October 20th, 2009 at 7:32 pm*My husband is in charge of Small Groups at our church, but I am not in one.EEEK. I have not really ever brought this up to anyone, and I wonder if they notice.
*I often struggle if how we do church in the West is even an okay way to do it.
*I hate having our salary supplied by church members and family. It makes me feel like I cannot spend my money however I want.
*I sometimes resent people who feel like my husband should always drop everything to come help them.
Thanks everyone for sharing.
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I have Miley Cyrus on my MP3!
I talk too much about tatas and gas… jus sayin.
I love to dance – The Thriller’s one of my favs, Lori!! Oh, and the Hoe-Down-Throw-Down by Miley – Oh, I wish I could blame this on my girlies… but I’m a fan 
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Kendra my daughter is 6 and just introduced me to the Hoe down throw down and umm i’m jealous i want to know how to do it and jam to it…
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Now that I’ve read all of these, I don’t feel like such a bad pastor’s wife next to all of you.
Umm… did I mention that I’m judgmental??
(Michelle, I never imagined that anyone could think so much like me.)
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Okay, I came back and am laughing my head off! We should all get together for a non-fluffy, wine drinkin’, bein’ real pastor’s wife convention.
What to bring:
1. jeans and heels
2. phones for texting and twittering
3. confessions
4. go ahead and grab your bible, we all know we love it
5. soap–for all the foul mouthed PW’s
Oh and yes, @cindybeall has let a few bad words slip. I may have encouraged her.
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i LOVE this list!!! you ladies are AWESOME!
i was laughing SOOOOO hard at the “church is a hospital…” comment! i copied and pasted that one so i could hang onto it. you have no idea how hard i laughed!! thank you for that!!
i am a pastor’s wife, but also a pastor. hubby and i planted a church about a year ago and really are partners in this. my list:
1. i often feel like i work harder than my hubby and get no credit – and sometimes resent that.
2. i hate women’s events. i’ve never been to a women’s retreat, TEA (that sounds like torture to me), i didn’t even look forward to my own bridal showers!
3. i feel like i get along better in conversations with other pastors (men). i have GREAT girl friends, but i feel like i have more in common with the men. and i am happily married and am in NO WAY getting anything from the men, i just talk with them better.
4. i don’t naturally know what to do with kids or kids ministry (eventhough i have a wonderful 2 year old, i still don’t know what to do with HIM, i certainly don’t know what to do with other people’s kids!).
5. i watch reality shows on MTV. and South Park. and laugh when they swear. (that was a tough one to confess!)
i know there are more, but i am very tired. thanks for this list. this is wonderful!!!
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October 20th, 2009 at 8:36 pmOh I love you women. I dont know you but feel like I do.
1) I hate that my husband’s job dictates all my friends.
2) When we left one church, everyone talked about how Godly he was. Everyone told me I made great margaritas.
3) I like to wear high heels and short skirts. And I have the height (5′11″) and the legs to carry it off. Does that make me a sinner?
4) I love Harry Potter. Read them with glee to my precious son. Can’t wait to read it to my other two kids.
5) I watch Desperate Housewives AND Grey’s Anatomy. Typically while my husband is at the missions committee meeting. While drinking wine.
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I am loving reading all of these confessions and knowing I’m not alone!
1. I too, am not a cook and don’t care to eat other people’s cooking either (never know how clean or dirty their kitchen is – just grosses me out).
2. Tight jeans … been there, done that! Oops.
3. I am not allowed to sit by my best friend at church anymore ’cause all we do is whisper and write notes to each other … and it’s not all nice stuff (I know, we’re so mature).
4. And, why hasn’t anyone mentioned The Bachelor? Am I the only one who watches it?
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October 20th, 2009 at 9:14 pmI loved reading this and so needed this tonight..thanks! God bless you for thinking of it. As PW’s we need more of this.
I don’t eat at church…you never who touched it or like someone else said..if there was a cat helping to make it! I don’t drink the coffee or use the bathroom. You just never know who has been where.
I don’t spend time in the nursery, my kids are grown I love being Grandma to my grand kids..not everyone else’s.
I HATE being asked to head up everything that no other women wants to do. Or what some other women thinks the church needs but will not lead. How many womens bible studys do they really think one bad PW can lead or wants to.
I can say NO and must say I am getting pretty darn good at it!
I hate everyone thinking my husband is there handy man. He loves the Lord and is not good at NO…so to anyone reading this, My husband..your pastor and I the bad PW will not mow your lawn, clean your house, tune up your car, cut down your tree, pick up your dog or anything else just becasue you think he should…. he is your pastor not your slave..we will do all those things if lead to do so by God.
WOW that feels great. Thanks!!!!!
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October 20th, 2009 at 11:04 pmI just came across this blog, and I love this idea.
1. I am completely introverted. I hate talking to people.
2. I can’t stand old people, and our church is made up of mostly old people.
3. I watch all the shows about ghosts and paranormal on TV and love them.
4. My house is a complete mess so we never have anyone over.
5. There is one person at church who I can’t stand. I talk about her behind her back to my husband all the time. I’d really rather slap her than talk to her. (I know, so terrible!)
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October 20th, 2009 at 11:10 pmTop 10 confessions:
1. I play Radio Disney in my car- even when my kids aren’t in there. Love Party in the USA!
2. I have a slight crush on Troy Bolton!
3. I should probably wash my mouth out with soap every night for not always having a filter.
4. I was told that I can be snobbish and unapproachable- that still hurts my heart.
5. Love getting the scoop on Hollywood drama from People/ETonline/TMZ!
6. I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it!
7. I would love to work for Disney as a cartoon voice or be a character in a parade.
8. I never ever ever wanted to be a pastors wife. Started dating my husband thinking that he was going into counseling/not ministry.
9. I never ever ever thought I would be working at a church too.
10. I love my early morning workouts because it is a time where it is just all about me- everyone else that needs me is still in bed! It’s just me and the ipod.
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1. I love Bon Jovi…not just the music, but CUTE!!
2. If I didn’t know that my husband was going to use me as his illustration in certain sermons, I’ve been known to take my shoe off and throw it clear across the room at him showing him that THIS is NOT cool!
3. I have no problem with telling some people in our congregation that I don’t like them, but I’m sure that Jesus does.
4. Oh! And just a pet peeve…I don’t have a key to the church, nor do I know where one can be found…AND, nor do I want one!!
5. I don’t like potlucks either, just for the record, but that’s what some are calling what is happening at our church on Sunday!
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Kept meaning to get to this yesterday but never quite did…
1) I’m impatient. About nearly everything.
2) I feel judged for being overweight.
3) I don’t like nursing. I know its good for babies. Will try for a few weeks again this time for the health benefits for both but I just don’t like it….and of course feel somewhat judged for that too.
4) I hate telling people we homeschool. I feel stereotyped and put into a box that we really don’t fit in.
5) Sometimes I think I could do more….but how do you balance what you can do with what you should do?
6) I don’t feel flashy enough. I rarely wear skirts or dresses, and don’t always wear makeup.
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October 21st, 2009 at 6:35 amI have absolutely loved this!!! I could copy almost all of it.
*I love margaritas
*I love Survivor
*I hate wearing dresses
*I have on occasion sent my kids to church with my hubby so I could stay home and relax or catch up around the house
*I tend to have a short temper
The list could go on and on
Love you all
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October 21st, 2009 at 7:21 amVanessa – I watch the Bachelor!
I also forgot a big one… I have never been on any sort of missions trip. I know that completely makes me unworthy and incapable of being in the ministry, but it’s true. When I’m in a group and the conversation comes up, I always find a way to get out of it before it comes around to me and someone says, “so Jennifer, where have you gone on missions trips…?”
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October 21st, 2009 at 7:38 amI would LOVE to be the first person out of church on Sunday mornings…I practically beg my husband to stop talking so we can get out of there! (And I’m pretty sure people see me do this)
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October 21st, 2009 at 8:25 amAfter feeling like I could never really be honest about where I was with the Lord (we are suppose to be perfect, right?) the stress of life broke me in more ways than I care to admit. Now? I feel like I have nothing to give and live under shame of past sin and heartbreak. My confession: 1. Unworthy of being a pastors wife. 2. I’m selfish 3. I’m holding on by a thread.
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October 21st, 2009 at 10:26 amI am a little late, but will also post on today’s celebrating post.
1. Ministry is the only profession where people tell you how to do your job. When you go to the doctor, you don’t tell him how to examine you. You don’t tell a plumber how to fix the pipes. Why try to tell a pastor how to lead the church?
2. I resent the way that church people make my husband and I feel insecure and inadequate.
3. If I am out and see someone from church, I will turn the other way/duck down another aisle/completely turn around to avoid them.
4. I am an introvert.
5. I could care less that 3 people don’t like the way we do things. I could care less that 1 person would like to do something. Grow up and realize that it is not all about you.
I could go on and on, but now I’ll move onto the celebrating post
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Ooh, this is fun…. isn’t it awesome to know that we’re not alone?!!
- Sometimes, I duck into the bathroom at church to wash my hands, just to avoid an awkward conversation with someone.
- My hubby and I LOVE to watch “The Soup” on E together on Friday nights.
- At times, I get really grumpy and speak much too loudly to my children.
- It makes me crazy when my hubby is preaching and tells a story about our family, and it feels like every eye turns to me to get a reaction.
- We are moving in three days, so Sunday was our last one at our current church…. I nearly PUNCHED the person who said to me, “Well, since I’ll probably never see you on earth again…. see ya in heaven.” Yep, I’m a pastor’s wife, and I thought about punching someone!
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Love this!
1–I hate dresses. I love jeans. Nice fitting ones that make my husbands head spin. But in our circle, pants are a no-no. Crap!
2–I don’t get along well with many women because I don’t enjoy birthing stories, pregnancy stories, or looking at birth pictures.
3–I don’t like other people’s kids. I barely tolerate mine. LOL!
4–I like the internet far too much
5–I can tell you what is going on in Hollywood at any given time though I don’t watch regular TV (I live in a tiny village in Eastern Europe).
6–I’d love to find another missionary wife to get in trouble with—nothing serious—just be a little loud and obnoxious. But I don’t because a) I don’t know anyone like that, and b) I don’t want to completely embarrass my husband. LOL!
7–I’m bold and nosy, but I don’t really want to know about your menstrual cycles or yeast infections.
8–I will not tolerate rudeness toward my children. Mama bear WILL come out and fur WILL fly.
9–I secretly laugh when the piano player plays a series of bad notes. I’m mean like that.
10–I hide all of the above because I care too much about what other people think.
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I forgot…
-I wear a toe ring and flip flops, even in the winter.
One time a Pastor said to me, “I don’t know how people do things up north, but down here in the south, we wear our wedding rings on our fingers. So why do you wear that ring on your toe?”
To which I replied, “Because my husband likes it.”
He nodded and said, “Okay. Enough said.”
Guess what? The next time we visited, a couple of the younger women were wearing toe rings. I found fiendish delight in that.
-Also, I may or may not have a body piercing
-I don’t like to pray with people. I like to pray alone when I can focus on God and not on what others are hearing.
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I am about to marry a pastor in 129 days, and it creeps me out to think about when we come back to our church after the honeymoon: they will know what we’ve been up to…
awkward.
I am super sensitive and get my feelings hurt sometimes by churchfolk because of it. But I don’t want to have a hardened heart either and I think it’s hard to learn balance at only 24 years of age.
I also think Chelsea Lately is the most hilarious show on TV.
Thanks Lori, you are awesome!
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October 21st, 2009 at 1:10 pmhaha i am so late on this.
i could probably copy and paste almost every post! i do enjoy a good reality show, top 40 music (party in the USA, holler!) and a drink here and there!
but the one thing people always are surprised by is that i love sex and don’t mind sharing that fact with whoever is around! i am totally having one of those “pure romance” parties in february! at least i’m married, they can’t judge me for that!
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Melissa my daughters and I watch the Atlanta Housewives each week. My DD yells out “don’t be tardy for the party” all the time! Its our mother & daughter bonding night.
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October 21st, 2009 at 3:38 pmLori, I LOVED this!!!! Made my day! I feel like a normal person now and I’m pretty sure I want to be friends with a lot of these people.
I do NOT like to tell people what my husband does for a living b/c of the stereotype that goes along with it. I try and avoid it at all costs. If I can’t avoid it then I try to soften the blow with “he’s on staff at a church” so they will not get freaked out by the word pastor.
I love tv and am currently watch 13 shows! Yikes!
I am not good at grammar so forgive me for my mistakes! =)
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As I’m reading, I’m seeing a common theme. A LOT of us are introverted or don’t like people. Question: Do you think that there’s something about the ministry that makes us this way? I know that I never used to be introverted (Kim can attest to this). Do you think it’s having to be around so many people all the time, or that our husband’s job is devoted to lots of people? I can hear a lot of hurt in these posts as well. I’ve been there and still re-live and resent things that have happened to my hubby in the past. Is the dislike for people an answer to being emotionally wounded by our churches? And why is it that it seems like Christians can be the meanest people? Does anyone have any thoughts?
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October 21st, 2009 at 6:02 pmMy heart broke when I read Broken’s post, I have been there, I think many of us over the years have been there. I want you to know I am praying for you. I don’t know any magic fixes but I know keeping your eye on Jesus helps.
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October 21st, 2009 at 10:36 pmI am late too… and Broken… I am praying for you! This has made me laugh AND look at my own life… MANY years of ministry – and I can relate to so many of you! I WISH I could remember which posts!! HAHA!!
For me… I am an introvert too!
I really do LOVE being at church – I feel like I am missing out if I miss.
I not only read Vampire books, and watch the shows… I actually set up photoshoots to get my OWN pix of them!!!!!
I have a few addictions in my life… that really do distract me from my daily Bible reading – Facebook and Scrapbooking… YIKES – I actually admitted it!!
I am a girly girl… I was never allowed that growing up… now, I want to wear the pink FOOFY stuff and BE a GIRL!!! I LOVE having grand daughters… they help me with my own NEED to be a girl =)
I know there are more… I just do not have time… I have to get back to my Facebook and Scrapping!!
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October 22nd, 2009 at 4:49 amHey Lori— may I put a book suggestion out there? If not you can delete this post
I have started reading
“Confessions of a Good Christian Girl: Secrets Women Keep and the Grace that Saves Them”
Ladies this book is awesome! It talks about the big secrets we keep, suicidal thoughts, sexual addiction/abuse, drug and aclohol addiction, thoughts of divorce. All the big ones. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we will not, or are not, facing this stuff. Like this post is showing, we all deal with some very similar things, and some of us have dealt with or are dealing with very big things.
This book is not a how to fix it book. Its a book you can read and know you are not alone, and know there is hope.
My favorite line in the book is “I have only been saved once, but I have been found over and over again.”
to the poster Broken—– keep holding on, even to that little thread.
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October 22nd, 2009 at 8:06 amI am a pastor trapped in a pastor’s wife world.
I hate being called the pastor’s wife. I am not docile, kind or addicted to floral prints. I cannot play any instrument and I am better at alot of this stuff called ministry than my fabulous and competent husband.
I long for the day someone calls him the the pastor’s husband.
I like expensive stuff and resent that I can’t have it because people will judge me. I hate being low income and hate more that I hate it.
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October 22nd, 2009 at 8:33 amI love these! It’s so nice to know that other PW feel the same way I do!
1. I never pray for unspoken requests. If it wasn’t important enough to tell me what it is, then it’s not important enough for me to pray about! I’m so over people not being real.
2. I think it is crazy weird that not only do people drive by our house to “see what we’re doing” but even stranger that they tell us they do it! GET A LIFE!
3. I hate that pretty much all church people think they are your husband’s boss and that church is about them and what they want! NEWSFLASH! It’s is about lost people.
I’ll leave it at that for now!
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October 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm*I like Criminal Minds and the CSI shows (okay, not so much Miami). Not a fan of the graphic nature, however.
*I was a Christian counselor (social work) before being a full-time mom. Yes, when asked what we did for a living at parties, etc, we scared some away. Hmm, minister and therapist…
*There are days I’d rather not go to church, glad I had a CEU conference to attend than the women’s retreat this year–they did those ice-breaker games that I loathe, broke groups off by numbers, forced sharing, etc. Ick.
*Not a fan of Women of Faith, but get so much from Beth Moore.
*Sick of having to quietly stomach the nasty church people who slander, gossip, lie, attack my husband and family.
*Will not Facebook friend just anyone who asks, especially church people.
*Hate the fishbowl.
*Am not a goody two-shoes because I have not had a drink, smoke, chew, etc.
*Greatly enjoy Christian novels…newfound stress relief and uplifting.
*I am not perfect. Another shocker–neither is my family.
*Favorite new quote–from a minister’s wife at the Beth Moore ministers’ wives’ conference: “SHEEP BITE!”
*Am a huge Jane Austen fan.
*Don’t like nursery duty even though I have once a month. Not a fan of those who shirk their responsibility in the nursery.
*Also love the older ladies’ Sunday School. Finally found a class where (some) members are not piranhas!
Thanks…feels good to share with those who understand.
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October 22nd, 2009 at 5:22 pmAmanda your #2 is totaly CRAZY!
Hey Broken- I know we are strangers but if you ever need a non judgemental ear, use mine.
Justjennpalmer@yahoo.com
Don’t let go of that last thread yet!
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October 22nd, 2009 at 6:31 pmMost of us replying here do seem to be introverts: I’d say maybe some due to church scars we’ve dealt with….for me that and…it’s like they all expect you to listen to every detail of their life with a smile…gets exhausting after a while.
Initial thoughts reading over the other posts: Oh good…I’m in good company and I’m not odd…just human.
1. I do curse…nothing major…mild stuff. And only when angry or highly highly stressed (two other things pw aren’t suppose to be I reckon lol)
2. I secretly watch Vampire Diaries online.
3. Like the woman posting before about returning from her honeymoon- same problem. I mean, church members want ya to have kids..but don’t want to handle how those kids ‘appear’.
4. Sometimes- I get more of worship time with the Lord in my car with the radio praying, singing, etc along the road…then I do in our own church.
5. I love wine…but never order anything in public (even though I know many of our church members drink)
6. I dislike that though I have pw acquaintances- we never discuss any of this stuff like this blog post.
7. I’ll friend church members on Facebook- but block them from seeing my status, etc.
8. I battle depression on a daily basis but am expected to keep pressing on.
You ever feel like if you just screamed just to scream, that all you’d get from the church was some nice little lady replying “Oh that’s nice dear”.
Guess we’re all in the same boat- saved by Christ, trapped by circumstance.
My husband read or heard somewhere: The great thing about the church is people. The awful thing about church is people.
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I’m late, but can’t pass this up…
1. I often hide in the bathroom during hand-shaking time.
2. I despise panty hose and my conservative baptist church makes my bare legs a major transgression in these parts!
3. I sometimes (okay most times) spend an ungodly amount of time in my pajamas and several deacons have dropped by to find me in the flannels and (gulp) no bra under my t-shirt. I stood with arms crossed praying they would just leave.
4. I have been known to whine to my husband that I have become a “ministry widow”.
5. I have a blog and I write very candidly. My mom is a PW and she is set and determined that it’s going to destroy me and the entire created world if I tell anything else on there.
6. I don’t have it all together. In fact, one time I started crying in service and just walked home (the parsonage is next door) so I could be by myself.
7. I feel awkward praying with people I don’t know at the altar.
8. I too have been known to fling a bad word from time to time.
9. One time an old woman “passed out” at church and I knew she was a little bit crazy and had done this before and I was sure she was faking it, so I sort of raised my voice (or maybe semi-yelled) at her that she needed to get up because this was just plain ridiculous. And I just wanted to go home and watch my show on television. oops.
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DANG!
I’m late too, but this was just too amazing to pass up.
1. PW on the Baltic Sea Coast in Germany
2. People here love long walks to talk – I hate em and am learning to say so
3. Feel guilty for not baking more cookies, cuz it makes the young people feel loved. Guess they’ll have to feel loved some other way
4. Get tired of people assuming I’m a part of a cult cuz I m not Catholic or Lutheran
5. Feel guilty for not having a clean home every day. Really hate cleaning. Don’t like to cook. Although I’ve gone through phases
6. I like showing hospitality, but let’s order out.
7. Can’t stand small talk
8. Someone, please come open up a Starbucks and TacoBell. Getting tired of saurkraut and sausage.
9. Through heartaches, hurts, and spiteful actions, I had become resentful and synical. Now I’m free and can love people again – without having to put on a mask.
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October 23rd, 2009 at 2:14 pmI want to comment on/ agree with every post!
OK here it goes (almost PW in Switzerland)…
1. I hate people and avoid the lobby accordingly.
2. I HATE people thinking they have the right to judge my personal finances – pay me according to my qualifications.
3. I hate knowing that people will judge my kids according to their parents’ profession (as they get older).
4. I hate the “ritual” – the way we do church is sooooo fake.
Let’s disrupt the “Hate” list…
5. I never look out to the people from the stage – the piano is turned toward the worship leader!
6. I LOOOOOVE TV just like the others. Not vampires so much though…
7. I eat too much McDonald’s (it’s the only fast food we have here.)
8. I’m a shop-a-holic – not bad enough to cry about it on Oprah but…
9. I’m addicted to the internet and Hollywood gossip.
10. I voted for Obama. I don’t just vote for the guy who claims to be christian. (Yes, Obama is a wuss on abortion.)
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Childresn Evangelist Wife speaking here! lol
I check my facebook while my husband is preaching… shhh
I love having company, but I hate to cook.
I despise a dirty nursery… I won’t put my children in one that has a toy box.
It bothers me when parents don’t take there disruptive children out when the are crying.
I take a nap every day almost!
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October 24th, 2009 at 12:45 pmI am so so late ,but I so wanted to join in …
I too love the soaps alittle to much .
Love Twilight…
I love to miss church everyonce in a while.
Do not like when my phusband treats me like a child instead of the wife I am….. O thats bad isn’t it…
Get tired of everyone trying to be my friend but really and truely not….
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LOVE THIS!
1. I albsolutely love the tv show “Brothers and Sisters”
2. I really do NOT like listening to Christian Radio AT ALL! I much prefer secular radio. Keeps me grounded in a weird sort of way.
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LOVE THIS!
1. I absolutely love the tv show “Brothers and Sisters”
2. I really do NOT like listening to Christian Radio AT ALL! I much prefer secular radio. Keeps me grounded in a weird sort of way.
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October 25th, 2009 at 8:27 pm1. I have pink hair, a tattoo, and a nose ring.
2. I love greys, glee, the office, 30 Rock, ugly Betty, desperate housewives, and the list goes on far too long.
3. My house is always a wreck.
4. I haven’t gone grocery shopping in over two months, so consequently I’m using my husbands deoderant and paper towels for TP.
5. I just brought my child to a Halloween parade.
6. I live on Bourbon.
7. I pretend like my stove doesn’t work so I don’t have to cook.
8. I have a very lucrative and shocking past.
9. I accidentally got drunk two weeks ago.
10. I get a little thrill when I actually get the courage to curse in public.
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October 25th, 2009 at 9:19 pmOh and I detest Beth Moore. Just on principle.
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October 25th, 2009 at 10:07 pmI joke that I was “born on the alter” bc i was in church since I was born, was church secretary for 3 years in high school, married sbc’s youngest ordained deacon and have actively ministered since the age of 14. I am now 33 and DONE with ministry within the church as of 3 months ago.
Simply because my husband and I did not read the unwritten rule in the unwritten handbook that we were not to minister to those of a different race or (God forbid) homosexuals our church kicked out the ministry that was double the size of the church, slandered our name to the community, and threatened my husband until he publically apologized for something he “could not discuss.”
my confessions -
I really am tired of Beth Moore
lifeway needs to get a life!
Churches are nothing more than a haven for those that were bullied in school and can’t find anyone to let them be in charge in the real world
– Aka committee chairs.
I think everyone should bring the details of their compensation the night they vote on ours!
For two years I have cut out all the pathetic advertisements and pictures in cheesy Christian literature and put it along with photos from church events in my “why I am glad I was not raised in this Podunk town” sketch pad while I have a glass of wine.
You – oh holy finance committee have – footed the bill for alchohol (gasp) when reimbursing us for conferences.
I know and I have overheard you people saying that I am the reason my husband no longer ministers at your sacred (Aka stagnant) church. You may be shocked but guess what I agree- I am the reason- and he thanks me everyday!
Last- to answer the question posted earlier – as for me – yes I am now an introvert bc of deep pain. But this pain will not stop me or my husband. This leads to my final and biggest confession – I, a PW, have never been happier or more free ministering with pure abandonment outside of the traditional church. Btw i can say with all confidence it’s their loss!
Wow that felt good- then why am I still scared and so deeply hurt?
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October 25th, 2009 at 10:18 pmOne more thing I really do not care what u think of my funky hair, my husbands out of control hair, his long goatee, or our tatoos.
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This is what late really looks like…
1. I love US weekly and the occasional Cosmo…
2. I watch at least 10 TV shows a week. Most are nothing but trashy reality TV. And I love Glee and am rooting for the main character to cheat on his wife…
3. I’m a total shopaholic and wear my designer jeans a little too tight. I also hope that when I wear said jeans to church none of our members will have ever heard of the brand…
4. I love dresses and love dressing up for church. Mostly so that I can be the cutest one there. And I’ve never worn the same outfit combo twice to church. (Granted, I’ve only been a pw for a year.)
5. The thing I miss most about my pre-pw life is a good red wine…
6. I worry that if I say the wrong thing or cross that imaginary line I will cost my husband his job…
7. I dread having children because I don’t want the advice of the church members and I don’t want to be judged for the choices I will make when raising them…
I feel like I need to confess like this at least once a month.
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[...] 17, 2009 by brandiandboys A few weeks ago Lori did a fun post where quite a few of us made a few Pastor Wife Confessions. My personal confession was when I’m at church I usually introduce myself as [...]
May 10th, 2011 at 12:39 pmSooo sooo late to this conversation but I just love it and so needed this. I hear all the time why do you think being a pw is so hard? Why would you struggle with “that”? I’ve copied my favorites (and the ones that apply to me too) just as a way to prove this isn’t as easy as we all make it look!
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LOVE this! i need to hear from my peers more! this website is a Godsend :O)
PW confessions:
1) i have TATTOOS! (*gasp*) one is almost a half-sleeve on my right arm
2) i have a touch of social anxiety
3) i too, read books like twilight and harry potter… WITH my husband!
<3
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May 19th, 2011 at 10:45 amI often refuse to take messages or items (especially money) to pass along to my husband. People get annoyed with me but its really for their benefit that I do this. I have a horrible memory and forget diapers and juice half the time for my children let alone that someone’s tithe check has been in my purse for a month…
plus he actually has a secretary who is paid for such
Also, I never cook for potlucks either not particularly out of choice. My husband usually just picks something up when he’s buying supplies or setting up for the event and informs me after…
I play video games and rarely do play dates or birthday parties.
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May 30th, 2011 at 7:20 pmI hate going out to eat with my husband at a local restaurant. We always run into a church member and they want to talk our heads off.
I hate it when people change the way they talk around us as soon as they find out that we are pastors. It’s like they are trying to impress us with how spiritual they are. Get’s on my nerves!
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Oh yes, so true about not wanting to tell people your pastors. People ALWAYS change the way they’re talking IMMEDIATELY. So disappointing, frustrating and boring. I’ve always wanted to do the same thing to them, whatever career they say they are…It’s like, “oh, an ac-COUNT-ant…hmmm…how nice…” drifting off. bleh
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I must confess that…
1. I don’t like teaching Sunday School- in fact it terrifies me.
2. I’ve been known to twitter and check in on foursquare during church-in fact I’ve stolen the mayorship from my husband for church
3. I’ve read all the Twilight series books and am waiting for the last movie to come out.
4. I like wine and a good cold beer!
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August 10th, 2011 at 8:49 amI just found this site and particularly this discussion. Let me tell you it has been like water in the desert to my soul.
Here are a few of my own:
1) I actually DO prefer to sit on my own in church and up at the front no less, so I don’t feel like I have to apologize to those around me that I don’t even try to keep my kids sitting still and silent through service.
2) I LOVE potluck and church dinners because it means I don’t have to cook. I HATE that it means a working meal for my husband and I feel like just another face in the crowd that wants his attention.
3) I secretly love having the excuse that I didn’t know about (insert event here) because the letter didn’t get mailed to my house it got stuck in my hubby’s in-box at church and never made it home. It really frees up my schedule.
4) I too love vampire books and swear much more than I should. I even giggle when my little ones copy us.
5)I watch a shocking amount of reality TV.
6) I love heavy metal music. The louder and more aggressive, the better.
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August 27th, 2011 at 9:14 pmI posted once..but I’m in a mood!!
1. I hate people dropping by our house unexpectedly, with 3 boys the guest bathroom is NEVER guaranteed to be clean.
2.We are NOT a package deal.
3. I have a name and it’s not “The pastors wife”
4. I would like for someone to ask me how I’m doing every once in a while.
5. I get so lonely at times that my heart aches.
Now that I have had my pity party, I’m going to bed! lol
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One day I watched the Jersey Shore Marathon!!
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I also just watched Scarface last week and loved it!!
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September 21st, 2011 at 11:35 amOh man, where do I begin? Okay here’s a couple things:
1. I love horror movies and Halloween. If it was my choice…my home would be decked out in creepy stuff during Halloween.
2. I have actually daydreamed about making out with my husband while he’s preaching.(OMG…did I just say that!)
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I enjoy planning our women’s meeting more than attending them. I’m such an introvert.
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Wrong website in first comment.
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I have a tweener crush on Richard Armitage.
I’ve read all the twilight books…and Harry Potter…and seen all the movies.
I enjoy red wine.
I check facebook during service.
I have skinny dipped in the Caribbean.
I am SO DING DANG HAPPY TO FIND THIS WEBSITE.
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January 6th, 2012 at 8:31 pmOkay, this is just too funny! So very glad to know there are so many of us dysfunctional SPW’s & PW’s out there. Here is my list:
1. Made the mistake of becoming friends with a lady in the church. She became overly bossy/pushy in telling me how to lead. So I pulled away. She got mad and told my husband! Now, I’m not close friends with any women in our church. Only close to my PW’s and boy I sure do love my PW’s to death; they are the best!
2. I love going to church but hate having to talk to people I don’t know. Why do they think I care about their problems, I don’t even know them!
3. I also avoid the foyer, it is a hot mess.
4. I love sitting by myself on the front row. I actually get mad when people come and set on the row.
5. I love Modern Family!
6. Last but not least, my absolute favorite word is CRAP. I’ve even said it from the platform at a women’s event. =)
Wondering how “Broken” is doing? None of us are worthy, all are selfish, and not to mention, barely hanging on. You are NOT alone, please don’t feel alone. I always remember just how thankful I am for that Amazing Grace of His!
Thanks for sharing everyone, soothing for my soul!
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January 29th, 2012 at 2:05 pmhmm where to start…
I teach highschoolers all week at my full time job in public school and teaching at youth group on Wed and now teaching Sunday school is pushing me over the edge, my patience are gone by Sunday afternoon for the whole week
I really want to punch the women whose passive husbands let them degrade my husband so he feels like he is lousy at his job, when I know he’s doing great and the best he can for having no guidance
I’m newly pregnant with our first child and I’m so overwhelmed at the thought of working and being in ministry. I could have quoted Broken to a T.
I’m really glad I found this because it is giving me some hope.
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February 2nd, 2012 at 2:59 pmI “stumbled” onto this when I Google “stuck as a pastor’s wife”… you are ALL so refreshing!! Thanks so much! I could “feel” with Broken—completely! I’ve been a PW in the same church for 33+ years and I am WIPED OUT!! So for my confessions:
1-I HATE women’s Bible Studies
2-I don’t teach SS and don’t even like kids—I cringe at VBS and only volunteer to do paperwork.
3-When I see church people out in public I pretend I don’t see them.
4-Now that my kids are grown I can’t have a “Sunday off” cuz they are sick–unless of course– I have a migraine.
5-I LOVE reality TV–Dance Mom’s, T&T, Housewives (yes all of them), Family Guy and R-rated movies.
6-I do love to go to Beth Moore conferences and prefer to do her Bible Studies on my own.
7-I don’t like praying in a group ‘cuz I feel like I HAVE to pray too.
8-I listen to my kids when they say the “don’t want to go to church”— and I’m a MAMA BEAR if anyone says “you’re the PK and you should know better.”
love all of you!
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April 15th, 2012 at 10:05 pm1. I don’t think people have a right to an opinion on my house, kids, clothes, money or marriage. It bugs me that they do.
2. An invitation to dinner, a play date or coffee should not be something that only I set up. It is ok to call me and invite me to do something. Everything I do is not a church event.
3. It is wrong to ask a pastor to work 80 hours a week and pay him for 20.
4. A parsonage is not always a blessing. It is not your house because it is owned by the church and if I want to paint my kids rooms, plant or not plant a garden or have a pet it is my business. I am trading a fair housing allowance that would pay for a home I might someday own to live in something that someone picked out for me 50 years ago and doesn’t necessarily work for my family! If I live here 12 years and the carpet get dirty it’s not because I didn’t care about the house, it’s because the carpets old.
5. When something is dirty or not in place in the church I had nothing to do with it, don’t give me credit for it. When something is done right I probably didn’t have anything to do with it either, but you can give me the credit.
6. I would like to be able to have an off day or emotions that show and not have my husband worrying about his job and people thinking I’m not nice. I have times I am depressed, lonely and overwhelmed. I can’t hide that all the time, but I try. I wish I didn’t have to try.
7. I would like people to reach out to me as much as they reach out to new visitors to our church.
8. I would like my husband to understand that it can be just a difficult to be a PW as it is a Pastor. Maybe more because there is just an expectation from people and not really any effort to understand. Pastor’s seem to get some sympathy because they are “Doing the Lord’s work” apparently I’m just working.
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Not only am I a PW, I am also a pastor. So, my confessions will include areas of both…
1. I hate the fact that it is assumed that I will help in all areas of the church. I am honestly trying to ‘plan’ to be out of town during VBS this year so I don’t have take on a class or the crafts. I love kids, but too many of them scare me and the noise sends me off the deep end.
2. I am frustrated that even though I co-pastor with my husband, I don’t get paid when I preach, or do any other pastoral duties. This church really is getting a two-fer.
3. I hate the fact that there are those in our church that expect us to attend 16 hours of public school sports games per week (we homeschool, and most of the people in our church take issue with that), clean the Family Life Center (we have an octegenarian who is our church janitor, but we don’t expect her to clean because we can’t afford to pay her any more – besides, she can’t handle it.) mow the church lawn, visit everyone in our church each month, and still be productive in our ministry and well studied for the sermon. Seriously! There aren’t that many hours in the week!
3. I have a tattoo and a nose ring, and I refuse to take the nose ring out simply because I’m a PW or a pastor. Fortunately, our congregation doesn’t have a problem with it. My previous pastor did though, and informed me that to be a pastor’s wife I’d have to take it out. Um, I don’t think so.
4. My house is rarely ‘company ready’. Oh, well…. life goes on.
5. Our parsonage is filled with black mold and is starting to have an effect on our health. I feel guilty bringing it up because I know the church doesn’t have the money to take care of the problem, or the money to give us a housing allowance instead. They would probably take our housing allowance out of our already low salary.
6. I have no problem being ‘real’ with our congregants. They know I’m imperfect and nutty, and I’m okay with that. I actually think they appreciate that – well, most of them. There are always those few. And honestly, it’s very freeing. In my first sermon, I gave my testimony and admitted that I struggled with eating disorders most of my adult life, and that I had been in residental rehab. I was afraid they would think less of me, but they don’t.
7. As a female pastor, I get soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stinkin’ tired of defending the Biblical ability of being a female pastor who is *gasp* in authority over men. What’s even worse is my own sister has a problem with it.
8. I get tired of feeling guilty for things wich that I really don’t have any business feeling guilty. For instance, asking for part of our salary that comes in different allowance fund ie: convention allowance, book allowance, travel expense, etc, when I know the church is struggling financially. Seriously, it is part of the salary.
9. I spend a lot of time at Walmart dodging people and hiding because I don’t want to talk, or because I don’t want them to judge me for buying some things that are more expensive or name-brand.
10. I know I have two number 3’s, but I am too lazy to go back and fix it.
11. I sometimes have fantasies about hitting certain people in the church over the head with a cast-iron skillet, and have become a master at sweetly smiling through the fantasy while talking with them.
12. I put on jammies after 6:00 p.m.
13. I take naps often.
14. Even though I have mulitple food allergies, I sneak the food that I can’t eat at times, because I seriously don’t think I should have to live life without chocolate occassionally. Ok, this was a general confession, not a PW confession.
Thanks for having a ‘confessional’ I know mine was a bit of a gripe session as well….. and I also know I was a bit long-winded. But I ain’t apologizin’
[Reply]
May 9th, 2012 at 7:14 pmI’ve been a pastors wife for 15yrs.
-I love Harry potter, poison, Bon Jovi, wine, and tattoos. I have 3 & currently want at least 3 more.
I hate scrap booking, I only own 1 dress (and I only bought it because it goes great with my cowgirl boots)
[Reply]
May 9th, 2012 at 7:29 pm1. I’ve known of L&L for almost a year now and have had it on my ‘to-do’ list to fully delve into it for that entire time. I have just spent 2+ scouring the site and I’m not even done. No wonder the devil has kept me away! It’s life-changing!!!
2. After reading all these confessions it has depend and already deep desire to minister to the ministers. With some of these ‘confessions’ coming off more as deep rooted pain. You are good enough, women!!! Each and every one of you. Let’s revolutionize US. Because, we can’t revolutionize anyone else until we are free to be, and are healthy!
3. I have music on my workout playlist that would make most shutter! I think I need an intervention, although Lecrae has helped, greatly. I <3 Lecrae
4. It annoys me that our church (and most) serve donuts. Aren't we supposed to honor our body!? (fitness is a major part of my life). We NEED our bodies in tip-top shape, people.
5. I LOVE high-heels, spas and The Bachelor
[Reply]
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me too
they started locking the back door so now I can’t
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