• Blog
• About Us
• Join The Team
• Local Events
• Virtual Groups
• Equipping Marriages
• Media
• Resources
• Connections
• Store

Leading and Loving It

The Ability to Feel…

Posted by Brandi Wilson

Yesterday we celebrated a milestone for one of our children.  My sweet middle boy, Gage, started Kindergarten.

I love celebrating the milestones of our boys, but Kindergarten is a hard one for me.  To be totally honesty with y’all I actually started crying after I put him to bed on Sunday evening.  I was sure I’d wake up refreshed on Monday and ready to face this next season of life… but I woke up pretty misty.  Throughout our morning routines I made many trips to the bathroom to make sure Gage never saw my tears.  In fact I spent quite a bit of time beating myself up for not being able to hold it together. Wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn’t control my emotions.

Then I gently felt God remind me of something I realized long ago.  He uniquely created me to feel deeply.  I know, it sounds like a pitiful excuse to say God created me to be a total sap, but the more I learn about my make-up I’m reminded that strong emotions (happy, sad, excited, etc.) are part of who I am.

I guess what I’d like for you all to think about today is your ability to feel.  I know some of you all are in situations where you’re facing criticism, your heart is taking a beating, you feel that you’re constantly under attack.  Just remember as you travel your path that you must continue to feel.  Don’t allow tough situation and harsh critics to get the best of you and callous your heart.  A main form of self-preservation is our tendency is to go numb in order to avoid the pain… but I encourage you to always continue to feel your way through life.

As a side note, I know most of you have never met me, but I’m hoping my sweet friend, Lori, can vouch for my abnormally puffy eyes in the above photo!

Mary Katherine Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 6:39 am

I LOVE your post!! I took my oldest to Kindergarten yesterday & spent most of the weekend tearing up. I am a very strong feeling person too, this post helped me to realize that is ok. thank you!!

[Reply]

Brandi Wilson Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:40 pm

thanks so much, mary katherine! i always have to remind myself that’s how i was created!

[Reply]

Lindsey Nobles Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 7:17 am

A great reminder Brandi. Love this!

[Reply]

Jessi Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 7:21 am

encouraging reminder!

[Reply]

Lori Wilhite Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 8:43 am

I would absolutely vouch for you, if needed but you look great … puffy eyes and all. As does your sweet little dimpled boy.

And at least you were kind enough to hide your tears from Gage. When Emma went to 1st grade (full day) I stood at meet the teacher day and bawled loudly in front of Emma, her friends, my friends and her teacher who was probably concerned to have this very freaky parent. Poor Emma.

And love this reminder. Gotta hang on to a tender heart!

[Reply]

DisneyCyndi Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 10:08 am

Umm, its not just when they are babies. My “baby” is starting her last year of college and continues to make adult decisions for herself. I’m proud, but its very hard to watch and see your child grow into their own and move away from your protection. I’ve done a bit of crying this month myself.

And I agree with Lori. You look good for someone who’s been cryying. I would look like a puffy face fish if it was me!

[Reply]

Eleana Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 11:25 am

loved this post!

[Reply]

Andrea Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 11:35 am

Just what I needed to hear today, thank you!

[Reply]

Makila Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Thanks Brandi. I’m a mess today as tonight is back to school night and tomorrow the 1st day of school. I have been ignoring the thought of school all summer long. Well, I can’t ignore it anymore. It’s time. My oldest starts 2nd grade and my second born starts kindergarten. Sigh. Thank you for posting this. I loved reading it.

[Reply]

Kendra Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Ouch – it hurts. But there’s purpose in the pain and healing through the hurt. This not-overly-sensitive-can’t-hardly-get-rattled girl is feeling a lot lately… Thanks for the reminder that I’m supposed to be feeling ‘it’.
PS I’d be crying too if I was sending that cutie-patootie off to school! Holy heartstrings!!! Bless ya’ll!!

[Reply]

Brandi Wilson Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:41 pm

haha, thanks kendra. his dimple is gonna be the end of me!

[Reply]

Tiffany Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Great post Brandi! My baby girl is starting preschool on the 9th and I am not sure how I am going to take it! I can’t believe how big she has grown. It will be very different now that she is starting school and making new friends and learning to navigate her little world without me. Makes me think of how much more we need to pray for our little ones as they grow older in who they are in Christ.

[Reply]

Morgan MacGavin Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Great post, Brandi! I don’t have kids, but I do have 4 nephews. It kills me as they keep getting older and my little buddies have new friends instead of cool Aunt Morgan.

Thank you, also, for your words on feeling deeply! I don’t feel so defective now.

[Reply]

Rachel Shaver Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:50 pm

BRANDI – Gage is not allowed to start kindergarten!! Is it really time for that?! You’re totally allowed to cry over that. I would cry, too.

[Reply]

Brittany Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Hard to believe your boys are growing up so fast! Seems like yesterday I had Brewer in the 2 year old room at church and I blinked and now he’s 4? How did that happen? You and Pete have done such a great job with these boys They are such amazing kids!

[Reply]

Rhonda Hewett Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Hey Brandi,
I love your honesty! I just want you to know I am there with you. When I took Jessica to kindergarten I cried horribly. I wasn’t ready to have both my girls gone during the day. Now, taking Lauryn to college I have told friends it is like Kindergarten times a million. I thought being down the road at Belmont would mean I would be ok, but no. Another adjustment. Another celebration. Another time to let go and be sad, (at least for a bit). I agree with you 100%. If we can’t feel the sadness we truly can’t feel the joy! You’re an awesome Mom and leader, keep it up. With love,Rhonda

[Reply]

Chris Alexander Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 3:23 pm

What a great post! You are a very “sensitive” person (like someone else we know and love ) and it’s one of my favorite things about you!!!

Uhh as for the puffy eyed thing… Don’t see it at all. Hey! At least you don’t look like Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer when you cry.

[Reply]

Makeda Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 4:44 pm

I loved this post Brandi. Thank you so much for sharing. I honestly was just thinking today how often I don’t allow myself to feel. I push tears away before they even have a chance to develop and I ignore the hurt I feel more times than I can count. I’m very good at pretending I’m okay. God’s been working on me but I’m still very much a work in progress in this area. Thank you for the gentle reminder.

[Reply]

Jessica Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

created to feel deeply! LOVE THIS!!!! I think that is me too and that is why we get along so well! Probably why I love your boys almost as much as you! I have often wondered why I get so emotional over things and you just reminded me why! Because God created me this way. WOW wish I would have learned that almost 30 years ago! Love you and PS I was going to call to see how his first day went but I thought that would show I was being just a little ridiculous Its a big deal in the little guys life. I would have cried too if I was there!

[Reply]

Jenni Catron Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Brandi, I love that you know how to feel. Secretly I think I envy your ability to enjoy and express emotion. I’m so thankful for you!

[Reply]

Brandi Wilson Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 7:35 pm

that’s one of the best compliments ever! thanks so much!!!

[Reply]

Eve Annunziato Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Let it out, Sista! This is a great word, Brandi – very profoundly said! I never embraced my emotions until I had kids. Now I cry at the things they say, do, and, shoot, I cry during the simple things, too. I’m learning to embrace my emotions rather than hide them from everyone including myself!

Heck, I got misty after reading this post I must admit. I remember when sweet boy was born only a few months after baby girl.

“..but I encourage you to always continue to feel life as you experience it.” Love it!

And, so glad I tweet now so I didn’t miss this priceless pic or post

[Reply]

Anne Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Loved your post. I am also one who feels deeply and cries easily. I too cry at the start of preschool, preschool graduation, the start of kindergarten, elementary school graduation, middle school graduation, and on and on. Just this summer, God used my tears of weariness to allow a stranger to minister to me (and my family). Long story: totally unexpected flat tire while on an out-of-state car trip, weary after 7 hours at the tire shop in an unfamiliar town of people who “looked” different than us). If I had not expressed my weary tears, then that person would have missed out on ministering to my family. And my children would have missed the simple message God was teaching us that eventful day. “We are all the same on the inside.” happened to be printed on a t-shirt in a store the night before our flat tire. That message was demonstrated the very next day by numerous people in our path and we sensed God’s safety and protection surrounding us.

[Reply]

laura Reply:
 August 24th, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Brandi,
What a great post! I don’t think I have ever really thought about this…and it makes me feel a bit better about having been a basket case for the past few months…you know why
THanks for this reminder!

[Reply]

Kelli Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 6:20 am

Great post!

[Reply]

Missy June Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 6:26 am

I’ve done it. I’ve shut down emotions because of the pain, betrayal and fear that feeling them caused. What I didn’t realize that shutting out the negative also shut out the positive and I lost my ability to feel deep joy, satisfaction, love. I began to go through life on auto-pilot, without really engaging or being present to feel. I’m so thankful to be free from that false coping skill. Feelings are a gift!

[Reply]

Brandi Wilson Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 6:50 am

glad you overcame that tough time! and thanks for your honesty.

[Reply]

Grace Morrison Reply:
 December 10th, 2011 at 7:29 pm

I’m over a year behind you all… but, I needed to hear this, nonetheless! I am incredibly passionate by nature and an extrovert of extroverts… until the last several years when I have just had one thing after another and in all honesty I have shut down a lot and become almost a bit unrecognizable to myself. It’s very hard getting back to that carefree, wild at heart, fun person I used to be and I really want to return! Ah, the process of growing… thanks so much for the reminder not to callous over the tender places God put in us.

[Reply]

Kate Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 6:52 am

I am right there with you! My heart breaks when other people are not effected the slightest, I am so sensitive, but I am embracing God’s gift to me of emotions more than ever, especially now being a mom! Good luck with the school year!

[Reply]

PAT WALKER Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 7:10 am

tears are a lanuage GOD understands when no one else does. i am so thankful for your post. for me august 14 was one of those days. i am so thankful for emotions even that are sometimes not understood. i am so thankful for you and the joy and lessons learned. what joy you bring into my life.
love you much.

[Reply]

Stephanie Thomason Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 7:32 am

Brandi, So needed this today. I have been in a situation where I started to think i will just go numb and avoid it…pull away and not face it. Thank so much for reminding me God made me to feel emotion and to love deeply. I appreciate your heart for the Lord so much!!!

And the kindergarten thing…so with you on that. I am always a sap the first day. Even when I dropped my 8th grader off this year. I know Gage is gonna have a fantastic year…and you too.

Blessings

[Reply]

nita Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 8:52 am

I love this post reminding all of us that God made us who we are. If we cry at the drop of a hat we also celebrate our joys and experience them fully. Although, I also sometimes cry with happiness. Go figure. And as for being weepy when your child starts kindergarten, I think that’s a given for most moms. We’re happy our children are growing, and are able to navigate the school process. But, it also means they need us just a little less. ~Nita

[Reply]

Pam Reply:
 August 25th, 2010 at 9:37 am

Sappy can only happen when your heart is truly into what is happening around you and when you are truly listening to what is being said. I have my days where I can let some of the most heart wrenching things roll off of me without at flinch…and later, when I am quiet and take in what I heard, saw or felt I become a SAP. And there are days that I am a SAP just because it is one of those days that I am totally tuned in. We are building those strengths and emotions in our children and when they know that we have a heart for the world – they will have a heart for the world. BTW – my baby started Junior High this year. NO – I did not cry when I dropped her off. Only, when I pulled out of the drive from the school. It’s ok – we are just loving with the tears that God gave us. Tears of happiness and tears of joy. For this I am thankful for being a SAP.

[Reply]

Tracy Reply:
 August 26th, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Sweet reminder! We just dropped our boy off at college 1300 miles away! The most painful/exciting thing I’ve ever done as a parent! I held it together until we got home, tucked my other kids into bed and walked by his empty room..crawled in bed and cried!! It’s a sweet time though…watching our kids grow up!! No regrets!!

[Reply]

Cheryl Reply:
 June 2nd, 2011 at 6:18 am

Thanks for the great post! And you have no need to apologize for those puffy eyes (which by the way weren’t visible at all). I can honestly say that as the mom of 2 grown, married sons and a new grandma my eyes still become puffy during so many life events and occasions. I just attribute it to my allergies kicking up! So don’t ever stop sharing those tears of joy and pride with your kids! It’s your heart showing through!

[Reply]

Caitlin Zick Reply:
 August 23rd, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Thanks for sharing this! What’s absolutely crazy to me, is this is exactly what I experienced tonight. I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with emotions tonight at dinner, I wanted to hide and cry. I thought something was wrong with me. But once I just took a moment, to stop doing the dishes and stressing about everything… I laid with my little boy on the couch and realized… I just need to embrace the feelings and emotions I’m having. There’s nothing wrong with having them. It’s as if I’m missing out on part of life if I continue to think I must always “stuff” my emotions and be “tough”. It was so refreshing. Thank you for sharing, it is very affirming to read this tonight!

[Reply]

Tiffany Cooper Reply:
 August 23rd, 2011 at 8:47 pm

I just love you and your adorable boys! I can always hear your sweet voice when I read your posts.

Well, I too had one start kindy and one start pre-k this year. No tears yet, I think it may hit with my youngest…and maybe it won’t.

I’m not very emotional. For awhile I wondered if ministry had gotten to me and made me callous. But I really think it ’s my make-up. I do feel deeply about some things but I tend stay even across the board emotionally. And when I do get emotionally, it’s usually an out of no where kind of thing:)

I love that you feel deeply, my friend!

[Reply]

Add your comment