Leading and Loving It

This was my view the night of Sunday, October 7, 2012. I’ve been told how cute my pajama pants are and how nice my toes look and if you want to say that again, I won’t stop you.

You see, I stepped off the road into a little hole and rolled my ankle that afternoon. I felt the pain instantly and heard crack of my fibula when my ankle went into a 90° angle. Go ahead and say, “Oh, mercy and grace, Cindy. Why did you tell me that? Ewww.”

My bad.

So what does my broken leg have to do with this marriage post? A. Lot. This little problem instantly put a burden not only on my spirits, but also on my marriage. Oh, it was nothing life threatening because we’ve already been down that road. But it was enough to strain us because it took us immediately into a new place of my husband pulling double duty while I laid on the bed with my foot elevated for the better part of the first week. Did I mention that it was my right leg? No driving for me.

I don’t know if you are similar to me, but I run our home. All of it. My husband’s position at church is wonderful and he loves it, but he has a lot of responsibilities. Because of that, I have taken the roll of Home Engineer at the Beall Casa and make sure things run smoothly. And I may or may not use an Excel Spreadsheet to help me accomplish my duties as Domestic Goddess. So to say that this little broken leg didn’t work into my plan, is the understatement of the year.

My husband was a trooper and still is through all of this. We are on the tail end of my recovery and he has stepped up and done things that he didn’t know how to do very well. He has adjusted his schedule in order to chauffer me around. He has made grilled-cheese sandwiches on more than one occasion and has brought me my morning coffee many, many times.

Friends, things happen. Difficult times come. Unfortunate situations arise. And many times, these types of occurrences put a strain on the relationships in our life…especially our marriages. Whether you are planting a church, leading a church, or are in another role at your church or organization, recognize that seasons of hard times come and go. It will not always be like this. I know this well.

My challenge to you today is threefold:

1) Tell your husband how much you appreciate all he does for your church, for his work, and for your family TODAY. (If you make this weekly habit, you won’t feel nearly as uncomfortable doing it on a regular basis.)
2) If you are facing a difficult situation right now in your marriage, ask God to show you your contribution to it and ask your husband’s forgiveness for your part. (Allow the Holy Spirit to deal with your husband. It’s not your job to convict.)
3) Commit James 1:2-3 to memory. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers (and sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (italics mine) Because Sister, if you ever break your leg this will become your mantra.

Have you ever had a situation similar to mine where you were hurt or sick and your husband had to pull double duty? Do share!

I love, love, love, love, love being a part of my church. I also love being led by our senior pastor, Craig Groeschel. He recently did a five-part marriage series called From This Day Forward. And it was outstanding and simple all wrapped into one nicely delivered package.

I think you’d be inspired, challenged and encouraged to watch the messages but if you cannot, I’ll give you a brief outline of the five messages Pastor Craig shared:

Seek God
Fight Fair
Have Fun
Stay Pure
Never Give Up

Simple and to the point.

As we started the series I was feeling very proud of my husband and me. We are seeking God, we fight fair (when we do even argue), we enjoy each other’s company, we are fighting to maintain our purity in a world that is far from it and we are not going to give up. But then, in the midst of my smugness, I was thrown a curve ball by Pastor Craig’s one and only piece of advice during Week 1 of “Seek God.” This is what he said:

Pray together daily.

That’s it? That’s it.

Chris and I were not that faithful at praying together as a couple. I’m not proud of that fact but that was our reality. Sure, we did when times were tough, but we’d go weeks and even months without praying as a couple. So it shouldn’t have surprised me to feel completely smothered in a gravy of conviction from the Spirit of God and guilt from my spiritual enemy because of that. I heard things like, “You are the campus pastor’s wife, a published author and minister to women and you don’t even pray regularly with your pastor husband” and “What a fake you are – you’re such a poser.”

After recognizing the spiritual onslaught, I found myself asking how in the world we made it this far. I mean, seriously y’all. Where would we be today as we approach our 20th wedding anniversary had we been committed to pray not just FOR each other with WITH each other? Prayer is the most important communication we’ll ever do on this earth and if it’s not happening within our most important earthly relationship we are missing out on so much power!

Thankfully, my husband was just as convicted as I was, probably more so since he’s the spiritual leader of our home. And that Saturday evening at church, we said that no more days would pass without praying together. That was nearly two months ago. With the exception of one day, we have prayed together every single day since August 4th. And friend, we can totally tell the difference.

I don’t have to tell you how hard marriage is or can be because most of you reading this post are married. And you know how much Jenni, Trisha and I harp, I mean, share about how many marriages are struggling and/or failing. Praying together won’t eliminate all struggle and strain in our marriages, but it will most certainly help us stay connected to the One with the power to help you through those troublesome times.

I’ve got two questions for you: Do you pray with your husband? (If so, keep it up!) If not, will you commit to doing that daily or regularly?

Posted by Lori Wilhite

This weekend we are finishing up our Relationship Boot Camp series at Central. And I’m going to be jumping up on stage with Jud to talk about marriage.

Now, I speak all of the time at different things, but I haven’t taught with Jud during weekend services ever. To be perfectly honest, all of the old fears of worrying about people’s expectations of my speaking abilities since I’m married to an incredibly gifted speaker have risen to the surface. It is the worry that our church family will automatically assume I’m some kind of Beth Moore or something because I’m married to Jud. But since my sweet friend, Jessica, is always talking about God increasing our capacity … and His strength being made perfect in weakness, I’m going for it.

So, I’d love for you to weigh in. We’ll be speaking on Ephesians 5:33 “Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

What are some really practical ways you show respect for your husband? How do you see that respect making a difference in your husband’s demeanor, attitude, and overall spirit?

And, on a side note, I’d covet your prayers this Saturday and Sunday as we speak at 5 of our services.