Pirate Parenting: Authority

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Posted by Lori Wilhite

There is no other book, Bible Study, or ministry that has made a greater impact on my life as a mom than Julie Richard and Fearlessmom.com With practical, yet powerful content, she has encouraged me like no other in my family life. Her insight in establishing a vision for our families and training our children’s hearts has absolutely transformed me as a mother.

Over the next 5 weeks, we will share the incredible Pirate Parenting series by Fearless Mom. No matter where you are in your mom journey… expecting your first baby, chasing toddlers and pre-schoolers, managing school-age kids, navigating life with teenagers, learning to live with step-children, or parenting adult children… this series is for you, your ConnectLIVE or ConnectLOCAL group, and small group or women’s ministry at your church.

Each Monday, we will post the video, the PDF of the notes and scripture memory cards to be printed and enjoyed.

Soon, Fearless mom will launch into their new ministry season, and you can subscribe to have their parenting videos sent directly to your inbox each Friday. Incredible! CLICK HERE The best parenting materials out there, straight to you! Pass this resource on to your friends, family, and church gals.

Notes and Scripture Card

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Pirate Parenting with Fearless Mom

FM_graphic980x250Posted by Lori Wilhite

There is no other book, Bible Study, or ministry that has made a greater impact on my life as a mom than Julie Richard and Fearlessmom.com

For years, Julie has been my go-to parenting guru. The Senior Pastor’s Wife at Lake Hills Church in Austin, Julie has raised two incredible, Jesus-loving kids. With practical, yet powerful content, she has encouraged me like no other in my family life. Her insight in establishing a vision for our families and training our children’s hearts has absolutely transformed me as a mother.

Over the next 5 weeks, we will share the incredible Pirate Parenting series by Fearless Mom. No matter where you are in your mom journey… expecting your first baby, chasing toddlers and pre-schoolers, managing school-age kids, navigating life with teenagers, learning to live with step-children, or parenting adult children… this series is for you.

Dive in on your own, watch while you’re getting ready in the morning, and take leaps in helping your children embrace authority, responsibility, gratitude, and honor. Grab your ConnectLIVE or ConnectLOCAL group. Watch, discuss, and encourage one another in your role as mom. Hop on the couch with a small group at your church or pull together your women’s ministry and church and jump in together.

Each Monday, we will post the video and the PDF of the notes for you to print out. During weeks 2-5, we will also post scripture memory cards to be printed and enjoyed.

Soon, Fearless mom will launch into their new ministry season, and you can subscribe to have their parenting videos sent directly to your inbox each Friday. Incredible! CLICK HERE The best parenting materials out there, straight to you! Pass this resource on to your friends, family, and church gals.

Notes and Scripture Card

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Mixtape: Note to Self

Lori Wilhite 2This weekend I got caught in the lobby. I probably don’t need to say much more than that. We all get caught in the lobby … or the parking lot … or the hallway … or the church bathroom … at one point or another. Maybe you got caught this weekend.

There have been plenty of times that I escalated a situation rather than diffusing it when I got caught. I’ve gotten defensive. I’ve gotten hurt. I’ve flat out gotten angry before. Maybe you have too.

But every once in a while, by some miracle, I manage to make things better. Whew. So, I’m writing this little post to myself to help remember how much better these situations can end when I handle myself in a better way. While I can’t be responsible for someone else’s response, I most certainly am responsible for mine.

So …

Dear self,

When you get caught in the lobby and you can literally feel the frustration and anger pouring off of someone, remember these things, and maybe, just maybe, they might help diffuse the situation a bit.

  1. Use your super sweet voice. You know you’ve got one. Yes, you hear pretty regularly that you are intimidating. Well, a frustrated, angry person who is also intimidated is not a good combo. So whip out your super sweet voice, and if you can drop in your good ol’ Texas accent from yesteryear – all the better.
  2. An arm pat goes a long way. It is harder to be mad at someone who gently pats your arm. In fact, it might make them feel a little more connected to you. And might make them feel like you — gasp — care about them. And since you do care, it is good for them to feel that way.
  3. Gently but firmly remind them of our mission and our purpose. “You know it is never our desire to hurt or upset you. Our heart is to make sure that we are connecting the unconnected to Christ and helping them grow to full devotion. You know how much we love people – you and the others we are trying to reach as well.” All good things to say.
  4. Connect them with someone who can follow up and follow through. Don’t just calm them down and walk away, Lori. This is what you are tempted to do so often! Make sure to get them connected with a staff member who can help them meet whatever need they have going on.
  5. And don’t forget to smile. The. Whole. Time. No matter what. Smile. Even if you are biting the inside of your cheek a little.

Ok ladies, what other advice do you have for me? What are other good things to keep in mind when you are trying to diffuse the situation when you get caught?

(originally posted August 27, 2012) 

Mixtape: Pleasing vs Trusting

Brandi WilsonOne of the struggles I’ve faced over the years has been my tendency to work very hard at pleasing God, rather than simply trusting Him.

The first time I found myself facing this dilemma was when I was just 21 years old. I was engaged to this cute boy who told me God was calling him to plant a church in rural Kentucky. As I processed what that looked like in my life, I became very aware that in order for me to flourish I had to make sure I was trusting God. I spent a number of years “doing” what I thought I needed to do in order to be a good Christian girl. But then I found myself at a crisis of belief and realized I wasn’t called to please God. I was supposed to trust Him. God’s invitation for me to work with Him led me to act out of faith – to fully trust.

Pleasing God was about working on my sin so I could have an intimate relationship with God. Sounds super spiritual, huh? Sell out, shape up, work on… but it led to self-sufficiency, guilt, hypocrisy and exhaustion. It left me confused and directionless.

I couldn’t go into that church plant because I trusted my future husband. I couldn’t plant a church because I trusted our launch team. I could only move forward by trusting God. What a lesson that was to learn!

Over the years I’ve come to realize that pleasing God is actually a by-product of trusting God.

You must make sure you’re trusting God with your sin. Trusting Him with your doubt. Trusting Him with your finances. Trusting Him with your marriage. Fully living out who God says you are. This path seems far less heroic.

Sometimes it means just stopping and saying , “God I don’t know where You’re going, but I will trust You. I don’t know where You are going to move us, but I will trust You. I don’t know if I’m talented enough, but I will trust You.”

Jesus is your rock and fortress. Lean into this truth as you step out on faith and TRUST Him.

Anyone else face the battle of pleasing God vs. trusting God?

(originally posted October 2, 2012)

Mixtape: Tuning

Jenni ClayvilleAs a worship leader, part of my job is to make sure all our equipment works. The sound speakers need to be plugged in properly so the music and all those speaking can be heard with appropriate amplification. The sound board has to be tuned and working so that all the musical instruments can be equalized to create the most perfect blend in sound. All the musical instruments need to be in tune and all the musicians have to be practiced to play as ONE band.

We prepare ourselves. I practice over and over again so that all the songs and transitions are seamless and without disruption. We work our backsides off to avoid mistakes. We equip ourselves to the fullest so that we are not caught off guard. But more often than not, I find myself tuning and RE-tuning my guitar.

I don’t mean for it to go out of tune, but the change in weather can tighten or loosen my strings. Just strumming it consistently stretches the strings and bends them so notes aren’t quite as they should be. Sometimes… a string breaks. So, to avoid this, I pay careful attention to my instrument, change my strings and tune often.

So, why don’t we do this for our marriages?

In the same way I resource and equip my teams to run a seamless service, we MUST resource and equip our marriages so they don’t fail.

Many of our marriages are fine, so why would we mess with something that’s not broken? And… that’s the problem. We are so busy getting caught up in the mundane that we forget to be intentional about our marriage. It’s not broken. But if I leave my guitar to play week after week without tuning it, eventually my guitar will not sound good to anyone and my strings WILL break. In fact, it would ruin the sound of the whole band.

The better your marriage is, the more reason to intentionally keep it IN tune.

And if you’re like me – being out of tune doesn’t mean you get thrown out. You just take the time to tune up again.

Tell us… what do YOU do to keep your marriage tuned? Let’s share some ideas with each other.

(originally posted January 16, 2013)